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Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 11:23 am
by MoraleHazard
Wanting to become a fine purveyor of bespoke, hand-crafted, motorcycle conveyances? And you don't know what to name your fine establishment. No fear, this website is here to help:

http://smldg.com/hipster_bike_shop/

Also, some funny posts and videos here at Bullshit Hispter Bike Videos.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 12:02 pm
by DerGolgo
Most of these are way too commonplace and mundane.

If I was going to name a bike shop, it'd be A Bike Shop.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 12:05 pm
by goose
I think I'd name mine "Yep, that works" since most of my friends sit around with a beer in their hands, looking at bikes and say . . . .

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 12:39 pm
by MoraleHazard

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 2:43 pm
by greasy
i dig the bullshit hipster bike videos page. i think they should be called the artisinal beardo bike builders, hipster has too many meanings.

its funny how many people can just become a 'type' so easily. all of the sudden there are all these guys who look the same, a couple years ago they must have been other people, but a new archetype emerges and tons of soulless fools -who lack a strength of individuality maybe- just fall into this category magically. sailor tattoos in highly visible places, glasses, beards, etc.

i wonder that they never feel shame over this. its just so blatant, so obvious of a false face, or a put-on.

one thing that sucks is a lot of it is people aping my cultural roots, i grew up punk rock, and i remember the late 80s early 90s when there were about 4 of us. these guys take some of their style cues from us, but have nothing to do with the culture itself. same happened with skateboarding and now with motorcycle culture. but they twist it into something comprised of only the form, ditching the meaning, something that can be packaged and sold.

here's a product of this empty movement, artisinal beard oil, what could say it better:

https://shop.ironandresin.com/prospecto ... oz/dp/1008

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 6:19 pm
by motorpsycho67
greasy wrote:i think they should be called the artisinal beardo bike builders, hipster has too many meanings.

its funny how many people can just become a 'type' so easily. all of the sudden there are all these guys who look the same, a couple years ago they must have been other people, but a new archetype emerges and tons of soulless fools -who lack a strength of individuality maybe- just fall into this category magically. sailor tattoos in highly visible places, glasses, beards, etc.

i wonder that they never feel shame over this. its just so blatant, so obvious of a false face, or a put-on.

one thing that sucks is a lot of it is people aping my cultural roots, i grew up punk rock, and i remember the late 80s early 90s when there were about 4 of us. these guys take some of their style cues from us, but have nothing to do with the culture itself. same happened with skateboarding and now with motorcycle culture. but they twist it into something comprised of only the form, ditching the meaning, something that can be packaged.




Couldn't have said it better myself.

hipster beardo bike assemblers. No different than the rockabilly fashionistas or hop hop bling crowd or the walking tattoo convention hipsters.

But, homogenized culture has always sucked. Seems to be getting worse though. Never could understand people who celebrate conformity. Even as a young punk rocker in the early 80s, I couldn't conform to the punk fashions or hairstyles.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 3:11 pm
by greasy
yep, same here.

did you guys see that ridiculous steve mcqueen jacket with the fake mudsplatter?

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 9:23 am
by Pattio
Everything hipsters do is OK

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 2:20 pm
by Rench
Like the second one to come up for me was "whisky and oxide." Misspelling aside, I actually quite like it. But I do get the humor.

Edit: jangleplatz! "Asphalt and rubber" just came up. :mrgreen:

-Rench

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 9:03 am
by 2XSL
i got piston & chrome thanks for th elink

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 10:36 pm
by DerGolgo
I accidentally put this into the wrong thread initially. I hope I'm in the right place now:


Hm ... I've played around with it some more and, you know ... some of these names, I just know I've heard them before. Or might as well have heard, in other contexts.

This just has to be a movie title. Either some 1970s Spaghetti-Western, or a drama set in the depression era dust-bowl...
Image

Angsty, depressed, 18th-century English poetry:
Image

Pretty sure that's a Ken Loach movie about the worker's plight in Thatcher's Britain:
Image

Surely that's how you'd order a lunch of baked beans in any pub:
Image

That was a Nick Cave single, wasn't it?
Image

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2014 4:23 am
by AZRider
"Oil and Rods" was just too perfect. With apologies to my gay friends, I had to stop there, I was laughing too hard.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2014 2:07 am
by Pattio
Everything hipsters do is OK

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2014 8:30 am
by 2XSL
lolol

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2014 10:26 am
by motorpsycho67
Rench wrote:Like the second one to come up for me was "whisky and oxide." Misspelling aside, I actually quite like it.



I'm pretty sure oxide is spelled correctly....

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:59 pm
by greasy
i just found this. there's just way too much to mock:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1892564102/clutch-monkey-this-monkeys-got-your-back

it kind of blows my mind how ridiculous this is.

"we've come up with a way to provide you with a 600 dollar riding vest for only 300 bucks"

it doesnt actually do anything. in terms of being moto gear. and they talk about denim like its wine?

the quotes on the site are hilarious. extremely ironic. like jello biafra talking about travelling with nothing. these are guys in 500 dollar pants, with designer wallet chains.

where do these rich people who wanna dress up like 70s bikers come from?



its pretty hilarious until it starts to piss you off. spoiled yuppie bastids playing dress-up. like kids in cowboy outfits.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:59 pm
by Zim
greasy wrote:it doesnt actually do anything. in terms of being moto gear.


That's not entirely true. The "HEAVY WEIGHT OILER" is waxed and provides water resistance. A water resistant... vest.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:11 pm
by DerGolgo
I only flew over that, I couldn't bare to read much.
They cast their own buttons?
It's nice that it's not made in a sweatshop in Asia. It's even nice that it's made by artisans ... though I cannot fathom why that should be necessary ... but seriously, casting their own buttons? "Individually cast in California out of solid bronze."?? Yeah, making molds and whatnot for such a small production run is a bit of an expensive proposition, but I suspect they chose that not to get just the buttons they wanted. But just so that it could help justify the ridiculous expense of paying $300 for a denim vest which, five minutes after purchase, wouldn't resell for $30.
There seems nought about this that isn't preposterous on purpose. The only way I can see this might appeal to someone is the feeling of smug superiority that comes with paying a ton of money for a "quality" item that mundanes just "wouldn't appreciate", but they do, because they're better. Indeed, they treat fucking denim like wine, the old fashioned snobbery.

Goddamit. I've had a beard since the last millenium. I've only been beardless on two occasions, one involving a coma, both involving surgery and many tubes being stuck up my face. I like my beard. I see this and I'm pretty close to seriously considering getting a shave, just so that I wouldn't be associated with someone like that ...

They've reached double their goal, dammit! Everyone's gotta find their own path to happiness, and if it's paying ridiculous amounts for apparel, fine, that's their decision. But what sort of demented maniac would rather spend $300 on a fucking denim vest than, I dunno, a good set of tires? A power commander or braided break lines? Gas and motels for a weekend road-trip? A nice fucking meal with some friends? Find your own damn happiness, definitely, and if that makes you happy, go for it. But how much of a slave to social fashion dictates can someone be??

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:50 pm
by yeti
I tell you what, that vest is going to look super retro authentic smeared in blood when they guy wearing it on his ride home from the Vile Substance That Shall Not Be Namedâ„¢ hooka bar dumps his bike...

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 7:55 am
by Jaeger
yeti wrote:I tell you what, that vest is going to look super retro authentic smeared in blood when they guy wearing it on his ride home from the Vile Substance That Shall Not Be Namedâ„¢ hooka bar dumps his bike...


:lol: :lol: :shock: :yuck: :mrgreen:

--Jaeger

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 4:35 am
by AZRider
Not to mention that it is perhaps the least figure-flatteringly-cut vest I have ever seen without wide reflective stripes and a state DOT logo. Vin Diesel and Zach Galifianakis would look the same wearing that.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:03 am
by greasy
DerGolgo wrote:
Goddamit. I've had a beard since the last millenium. I've only been beardless on two occasions, one involving a coma, both involving surgery and many tubes being stuck up my face. I like my beard. I see this and I'm pretty close to seriously considering getting a shave, just so that I wouldn't be associated with someone like that ...



I know what you mean. I cant even grow one, but Ive seen many other things I liked, which were once uncommon, become fads to the point that I wanted to change that thing in order to maintain my contrarian-ness or personal identity.

but if you hold out it will come back round again, you can continue being you while the others continue morphing into who they wished they could be. stay true to yourself is my advice.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 7:17 pm
by Beemer Dan
I'm right there with you guys when it comes to laughing at this new hipster biker circus, so I'll try not to be too much of hypocrite on this.

Cool and genuine are not mutually exclusive at all, but given time, they are absolutely jointly exhaustive. In a capitalist environment the two annihilate each other almost as soon as they pop into existence. Particle meet anti-particle, all you need are observers. Everyone wants to be cool and unique, they also want to be the "real deal", but in the wild that comes from convention and consensus rather than fundamental evaluation. In English; cool in a vacuum exists, but it only has meaning to the individual.

Yeah, I watched anime back when nobody else in the US seemed to know what it was. I thought it was cool, everyone else thought it was nerd fuel. Ok, the other few folks that I knew that introduced me to it and watched thought it was cool, but we weren't going to score any cool points or pussy wearing a Tank Police t-shirt. These days, even the poseurs know more about, and have watched more anime than I can hope to. It's gone crazy, viral, commercial, blah, blah, blah and all that shit. It's still cool (I'd argue much cooler than it was in the 80's), but I'm no longer unique having interest in it. That's cool by me, I'd rather see a bad Hollywood interpretation of good anime than another sequel to the dukes of hazard.

Similarly, I remember when the only reason to tape up your headlight was because you were racing the bike (helps to prevent shards all over the place when you crash), or because your headlight had a bad time staying on the bike. I remember when clubman bars were put on a bike to change the ride, not just the look. When a proper streetfighter got that way from crashing the plastic off. When ancient Buco helmets painted in sparkly orange and green stripes were the thing to wear because it was all Crazy Rob had in the basement and we were about to hit the highway in a couple feet of snow. Beards? Shit. Half of us had them because we were spending our hard earned nickels on bike bits and the other half found a way to shave regularly because looking too rough meant you couldn't find a job to get a handful of nickels to get bike stuff. Beard oil was something you got from your bike when working on it and jeans had holes because the road gave you a warning instead of torture.

Also, to say we're weren't living in our own little "the world might end tomorrow" fantasy would be a lie. A big, fat, bullshit lie. Just because we were living a group fantasy that wasn't mainstream doesn't mean it wasn't a fantasy. Taken out of their environment, superheroes are just grown adults with serious faces wearing underwear. Shit man, a Mad Max apocalyptic future sometimes seems a little kinder than the reality of growing old, fat, bald, plain, normal... Just another human turd circling the bowl of life. Give me a damn fantasy, something to believe, something that makes me feel like any if this means something. Give me a reason to keep on being me, even if that means wearing brightly colored underwear and claiming to be one of the good guys. Shit man, do you know how much it hurts to die? I once heard a man dying from a severe head injury. He screamed for hours. A cold, bone-chilling, nerve frying opera that makes nails on a chalkboard sound like Mozart. Fuck that shit still haunts my mind, probably always will. Fantasy is a drug, and when it's pure it's just enough to drown out those screams, that song that we'll all sing at the end. As much as you think you don't want to die, your body feels that a hundred fold more.

We need our fantasies. We need something to believe; a story, a song, a joyride, something. Some go for opiates, some for religion, some try hope. I like motorcycles, I bet you do as well. Religion isn't just something we believe, it's something we practice. It's something we do in the hopes that it'll somehow drown out that horrible screaming, and we've all got it ringing in our heads from something.

So back to this silly hipster-biker circus thing, it's cool. It's silly and getting awfully commercialized and absurd, but it's still better than it used to be. Who wants to go back the "biker" culture of a couple decades ago filled with illiterate, ignorant, outlaw wannabe, racist, sexist, over-the-top macho dumbasses who hated everything that wasn't a big Harley ( Sportsters were for girls and faggots, you faggot). We hated that shit. There wasn't anything cool about having a bunch of ignorant rednecks threatening to smash your bike because it wasn't from 'Merica. There was nothing cool about going into a "biker bar" and seeing a glass enclosed box with a noose and a knife in it with a sign that read "in case of niggers break glass". There will never, ever, be anything cool about listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd while drinking bud light and fucking your own sister. Fuck that old, shitty, stupid "biker" scene.

The hipster biker circus is ridiculous, but if you show up on a beat up Honda scooter painted pink and covered in rust, nobody really gives too much of a fuck. If you mention evolution in a conversation you won't get angry looks for being too intellectual. If you're not a white guy nobody gives a fuck. Sure, it's silly, pretentious and complete satire of itself, but that's what makes it so damn entertaining, so damn beautiful. Three hundred dollar denim vests, handmade artisan cheese shaped like socket wrenches, beard oil? Bring it fuckers. that shit is seriously goofball, but it isn't fueled by hate and ignorance. It's the spring of he new "biker" culture, and all of the ridiculously pretty flowers are in full bloom. The ones that smell like bullshit will die fast when the dog days roll in, so enjoy the absurdity while you can.

Lets just enjoy the silly fantasy, let's go to the circus (they'll even let OGs like us in for free). Soak in it and and enjoy it, it's entertaining as fuck. There will be plenty of time to bitch about it and try and build better when the winter comes. It's springtime in the biker culture, let's ride fuckers.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:17 am
by DerGolgo
Dan, I generally agree with you.
I, for one, am just a little concerned with hipster bike culture creating an impression or experience of motorcycling in many people that lacks some of the great fun to be had with it apart from being cool and rebellious and silly. That it has some people missing out, as it has them focused too much on the superficial aspects.
I'm also slightly concerned about exclusivity. Yes, turning up in a rusty pink Honda won't get you ridiculed so much. But, once upon a time, riding a non-Harley didn't get people ridiculed in the 1% culture. How many people pimped around on Triumph choppers like Bill's? And yet, at some point, you needed not just a chopper, but the right kind of chopper, to be allowed in. Will the hipster biker crowd perhaps eventually, if it hasn't already, exclude people who chose riding gear for safety? Or tires for handling? Will $300 denim vests become not just a silly extravagance or status symbol, but a requirement for admission?

EDIT: Forgot to mention. Dan, I took the liberty of plonking your words on NotTheFrontpage.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 5:20 am
by Pattio
Everything hipsters do is OK

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:41 am
by Pattio
Everything hipsters do is OK

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:47 am
by rolly
You may not be a hipster motorcyclist, but don't you own a Penny Farthing?

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:10 pm
by Pattio
Everything hipsters do is OK.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:48 pm
by rolly
We are all someone else's hipster.

Re: Hipster Bike Shop Naming Site

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:19 pm
by Pattio
Everything hipsters do is OK.