Any Ideas on How to Find Decent Roommates??

monstergirl · Post by **monstergirl** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 2:31 pm

Does anyone have any tips on finding decent roommates?
It seems easier to find cool roommates in a larger town, but I have to believe there are still cool people in slightly smaller towns.

I've got this roommate who's almost 50 and refuses to lift a finger. And she's so chipper, it makes me want to puke.

I just want someone who's not a slacker and I don't have to be their fucking mother. If I wanted to be someone's mother, I'd give birth to a kid or adopt one. I do have high standards, but I just don't see how my standards are so fucking hard to meet, considering I'm pretty forward about them from the beginning. Ok, I'll try to stop venting.

So, if anyone has any tips on finding a good roommate, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to be anyone's new best friend and I'm not into communal shit. That's cool for other people, but not me. I'm too old for that.

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 3:19 pm

monstergirl wrote:I'm too old for that.

Me too. That's why I refuse to have roommates ever again.

Good roommates are as hard to find as a someone to have a LTR with.

I think in the 24 years I've been on my own, I can't remember ever having an ideal roommate. There's always compromise, and I'm too old to put up with other people's crap.

I vowed a long time ago that the next roommate I have will have a ring on her finger.

Post by **DerGolgo** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 3:31 pm

Ask for references. Ideally, former roommates at least once removed. That way, they won't tell you what a great guy or gal it is just to get rid of them.

Sisyphus · Post by **Sisyphus** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:09 pm

ONLY if you wish to move to the East coast. I know a guy. You'd never see him and if you did, he'd be coming or going. He totally minds his own business, doesn't ask questions, pays his bills on time and is cat-like in his attitudes toward humans. Uncanny, really.

kml · Post by **kml** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:27 pm

I have a dog....

cheers
ken

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:49 pm

Oops, I forgot I do have a roommate. He's so quiet I sometimes forget.

A fat-tailed gecko named Doug Jones.

sun rat · Post by **sun rat** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:21 pm

i now have a roomate. sure we are related, but it won't be any less chaotic than if we weren't. i still have my own room. that is all i care about today.

that said, i have no real advice.

as for the laziness, ask if the woman will go half in on hiring a maid. she's of the age where it'd either be a great idea, or it'd shame her enough to get her off her ass.

goose · Post by **goose** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:45 am

aaahhh roommates. When I first returned to SF I decided I'd try the room-mate route and "be" a new room-mate. Wholly mutha of gawd there are some kooky people in this town. For example - (MT is master tenant, me is.. well, me)

MT: So, do you hang around the house much?
Me: No dude, I work too much and when I have a chance, I'm out on the road or in my room reading, working or playing guitar.
MT: Oh, well, I need a roommate "friend."
Me: (inside voice) Get me the fuck out of here!

2nd "Interview"
MT: Do you cook?
Me: On occasion, I make a mean pot of gumbo and a helluva grilled cheese sandwich
MT: I'm a chef and the ONLY one who cooks in this house.
Me: (inside voice) Get me the fuck out of here!

3rd "Interview"
MT: (female - 40ish and let's just say not my type) Have a girlfriend or boyfriend (It's SF folx)?
Me: No, but I date
MT: Ever have a tryst with a room-mate?
Me: (inside voice) Get me the fuck out of here!

Now I live in a cat-box affectionately referred to as a "charming studio" - hip tip - charming means really f'n small WITH NO DAMN ROOMMATES! Not that I would be any joy to live with - umm, could you get the fairings out of the kitchen? - but man am I glad I live alone!

So, back to the question: Get references from previous cotenants and landlords. Make certain this person has a life that doesn't involve your own. Go to where they are currently living just to see how they really live. AND meet with them several times before approving. No guarantees, but, in my business, i see this crap all the time. OH, NEVER EVER EVER TAKE ON A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN EVICTED. Sure, it all may be some misunderstanding, so what. Not your problem and don't make it your problem.

monstergirl · Post by **monstergirl** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:20 pm

goose wrote:Now I live in a cat-box affectionately referred to as a "charming studio" - hip tip - charming means really f'n small WITH NO DAMN ROOMMATES! Not that I would be any joy to live with - umm, could you get the fairings out of the kitchen? - but man am I glad I live alone!

If the economy didn't suck so hard, I'd sell this place and buy something cheaper, therefore removing the need for a roommate. I miss living alone. The only think I'd miss about this place is my massive garage, but I could make due or build myself a shed for the bikes.

Anyway, thanks for all your suggestions. Multiple interviews sound like a good idea. But sometimes when someone has been living alone, you can't check up with other roommates (as is my case now). I guess I'll have to wait till my roommate stops being a super cheap ass and buys a house. She still think houses are overpriced even though the housing market has crashed here.

Oh, I could also drop having a social life, which would save me a bunch of money. But then again, isn't that an important part of life?

I've got to suck it up and learn more for next time.

monstergirl · Post by **monstergirl** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:46 pm

sun rat wrote:as for the laziness, ask if the woman will go half in on hiring a maid. she's of the age where it'd either be a great idea, or it'd shame her enough to get her off her ass.

Oh, she used to have one come in at her last place. I should have taken the hint there that she doesn't like to do anything for herself. She can't take out the garbage or recycling to the can (which are in the nice dry garage about 15-20 feet from the kitchen) and she certainly won't bother to drag the can to the curb. Lame. I don't have money for a housekeeper. I already agreed to get more cable channels, which will cost me more money, even though she's helping to pay it. I also don't really want a housekeeper. I don't want someone around the house when I'm not there and I'm not sure they'd clean to my standard anyway. If I can't find a decent roommate, think of how long it might take me to find a decent housekeeper. Think of how many times I'd need to call a locksmith to change the locks. Ugh. Forget it. I'll just pretend that I like being this woman's mother/housekeeper.

ghost · Post by **ghost** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:08 pm

I wish I had advice, but my only good roommate situations were when I had (pre-existing) friends as roommates or were complete dumb luck.

Also, I'm possibly the worst roommate anyone could ever have. I have loud hobbies that take up a lot of space. I have loud, often drunk friends, with whom I spend a lot of time. I listen to loud music. The hobbies that aren't loud and don't take up a lot of space often involve potentially hazardous chemicals and take up a specific, inconvenient space for long periods of time (developing film in the bathroom... I'm looking at you). Oh, and sometimes I take up the entire kitchen for a day to cook things.

(At least I have the decency to lay this out to people who are considering me as a roommate before they make a decision.)

I do pay bills and rent like clockwork though, and I clean up after myself in common areas. I do chores as requested, and I actually enjoy washing dishes. Apparently these are sufficient to overwhelm the bad stuff sometimes.

The only advice I can really offer is to avoid people like me.

Good luck, though.

Flatline · Post by **Flatline** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:33 pm

The best room mates are the ones that are never around. Second to that, living alone. I was pretty happy about my place I just moved out of aside from the fact it was super tiny. Being a hermit can be pretty great at times.

You should begin to annoy the hell out of the woman so she moves. Start slow and move on. Here's a good one for starters: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/b278/

Zim · Post by **Zim** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:58 pm

Ted Kaczynski had it right. Well, except for the whole bomb thing, and being nuts. But he did have a remote cabin and a typewriter.

Ok, maybe he's not a good one to reference.

You could go the Richard Proenneke route, but that might hinder your social life. And I'm guessing Chinese take-out would be difficult. But oh, the peace.

motorpsycho67 · Post by **motorpsycho67** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:42 pm

goose wrote:but man am I glad I live alone!
.

A-fucking-men brother!

As far as your current roommate MG, have you ever directly confronted her about why she won't pitch in? Have you told her that your not her mother and that she needs to get off her lazy ass and clean up after herself? Sometimes the guilt/shame route works.

Maybe tell her if she pays the whole cable bill, in return you won't bug her about the cleaning/garbage/recycle issue.

Having roommates is all about compromise.

Whiskeywrist · Post by **Whiskeywrist** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 4:59 pm

I've had the best luck by essentially UN selling the available room and circumstances. I lay out all the inconvenient, weird, lifestyle incompatibility and infrastructural quirks at the onset.

It helps thin the herd quite a bit.

Also, being brutal and explicit in your expectations in the ad/interview.

"I don't care what you're into, as long as you're quiet when I'm sleeping, pay your bills on time, and clean the fuck up after yourself"

is a good starter.

deal breakers on the table is good second.
I try to get any prospective stumbling blocks out of the way early:

"I have a gun, I drink a lot, My bike lives inside, I do not/will not likely have a bit of patience for your religious/spiritual beliefs, I hate politics in general, and the most recent regime of America with a special fervor, don't even get me started."

If these are a problem, this isn't going to work.

Honestly the more direct and gritty the ads and interview are, the better luck I've had.

I've had some psychos, slackers, basket cases, and other "bad" roomies, but a lot of really awesome ones as well. Some of my closest friends have been formed through inhabiting the Hanta House together.

We have a good batch right now- Flatline and Myself, Eli, who only comes over to pay bills, and actually lives at girl friend's house, and Jill, the Aerialist/Stagehand/Tattoo artist that cooks awesome soup for us.

It's a lot of trial and error, and is always a crapshoot, but there are good ones to be found. I think that the initial solicitation is the key step in controlling what you end up with.

sorry it's a hassle for you right now, though.

good luck

kml · Post by **kml** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 5:17 pm

Please don't flame...

But before I got a dog I always selected room mates based on cup size and nubility.

cheers
ken

Zim · Post by **Zim** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:46 am

kml wrote:Please don't flame...

But before I got a dog I always selected room mates based on cup size and nubility.

cheers
ken

?

?

OH! n-U-bility, not n-O-bility! Sorry.

GOSTAZ · Post by **GOSTAZ** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:48 am

Get a part time job and eliminate the need for room-mates. Whilst going through divorce and separation, I went as an interviewee for a position as a housemate/room-mate and I gotta tell you, the world is filled with weird motherfuckers.

You belong to any local riding forums? The one person that I almost ended up living with I met as a result of hanging about in a sportbike forum. Had a garage, a decent attitude about life, and was the most sane person that I talked to. He shot from the hip as well, had no problems with laying out his expectations and his quirks.

I am amazed how some folks exist, given their laziness.

monstergirl · Post by **monstergirl** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:40 pm

GOSTAZ wrote:Get a part time job and eliminate the need for room-mates.
You belong to any local riding forums? The one person that I almost ended up living with I met as a result of hanging about in a sportbike forum. Had a garage, a decent attitude about life, and was the most sane person that I talked to. He shot from the hip as well, had no problems with laying out his expectations and his quirks.

I've thought of trying to get a part time job to supplement the income, but haven't really looked for anything yet. And I really cut my expenses as much as I can while still trying to have a social life. The only thing I really spend money on, in terms of "extra" stuff, are parts for the bikes. But who here is going to think that's really "extra"??? And I've been trying to be better about that too.

As for finding someone on a riding forum, the only local one I know of is pretty squidly. Plus, I'm not keen on sharing my garage much. My last roommate was great and only stored his bicycle and camping gear in there. That's one of my interview points: not much room in the garage.

And, I'll be using all your pointers soon. My roommate just gave notice today that she'll be out at the end of the month. So the search starts again. With any luck, I'll get someone from the legislative season who will only be around during the week.

Wish me luck...

GOSTAZ · Post by **GOSTAZ** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:21 am

Fingers crossed for you. I am lucky that my gf and I make great roommates. But we have no garage. Our mission right now is finding a new domicile with a car/bike hole in it.

Hang in there. Tell the prospective housie that you belong to a cult and flash a few pics from DOOM. That should weed out the doofies a little...

Flatline · Post by **Flatline** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:35 am

Hey, if you really don't like the next room mate, you can always throw "biker" parties with half naked women and large amounts of booze and throttle twisting with annoying pipes. Woo!

Or you know the normal prolly would do the trick too, with FBR half nakkid and drunk tearing things up a little dirt bike.

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Any Ideas on How to Find Decent Roommates??

Any Ideas on How to Find Decent Roommates??

Re: Any Ideas on How to Find Decent Roommates??