This measure is inconvenient, yes, but necessary at present.
Click below for more information.

click her for the instant fix
First fix:
  • open the menu at the top
  • hit New Posts to see what's actually new and browse the new stuff from there
  • go back to the Forum Index
  • open the menu at the top again
  • click Mark forums read
    this will zero the unread anything for you, so you can strive forth into the exciting world of the new cookie thing.

Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.

Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.


2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
Click if you have a problem.

If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.

If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.

Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.

To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.

Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.

Registration Information
Automatic registration is disabled for security reasons.
But fear not!
You can register!

Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.

Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.

Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.

Policies, Cookies, etc.

Congratulations! You have found our page of policies, cookies, and etc.. Ain’t you special!

No, really, you are. Most people will agree to launch global thermonuclear war if that is what they have to click to get to their porn. So, kudos, jolly good show!

You probably got here looking for our privacy policy and our pledge of allegiance to the mighty GDPR (praise be!). And you’ve come to the right place. Scroll down to where it says “Privacy Policy”, it’s the rest of the page from thereon down.

Before we get to that, though, let’s get some other stuff out of the way. You know. The fun bit!
By continuing to use this website and/or forum, you indicate that you accept the explicit and implicit rules and guidelines that follow.

What the adjective noun is this place?
No. No. No, not that one, either. No… oh come on! Get on with it!

The UTMC is its DisMembers. It’s a DisOrganization that exists mainly to yap about motorcycles, and basically any verb you can attach to that. And some you can’t.

Nobody is making bank by running this place, you won’t be charged for loitering about here. You might be charged with loitering, but that’s between you and your local law.

What bike must I have to DisJoin this Cult?
Whatever. You don’t really need any bike. Nor a scooter. If you like the idea of riding, at least in principle, you’ll probably get along with folk a little better than if you don’t. But the actual having a bike is optional, really.
If you do have one, someone is gonna rib ya for having a shit bike, but they’ll only do that because your bike is the worst. The only way you can not have the worst bike is to have no bike at all. But that’s exempt only because not having a bike, not even having access to a bike, that really sucks plenty already.

So this is some kind of 1% MC?
Besides everything we just told you, know this. The one thing we are absolutely and positively not is a 1% MC. The whole point of the UTMC, in as much as there is a point, or a circle, is to not be like any of the other motorcycle clubs. If we wanted to be in a motorcycle club, we would join one and not faff about here.
The UTMC isn’t for people who don’t fit in so much as it is for people who don’t fit in among people who don’t fit in. We ride at right angles to orthodoxy. We're mostly bulletproof, possibly rabid, and quite likely to bite a person to death, even after being shot with some number of large caliber hollowpoint bullets. WE ARE THE GOOD GUYS.

What are the rules then?
Ooof. Don’t be a dick?
Or an ass.
Unless you’re into that.

The UTMC has always had high ideals about who is or isn’t welcome here, and how we should treat one another. These ideals have always been part of what made us a breed apart. A brood apart. A brooding tart? Yeah, that sounds right.

Basically, if you’re not an ass, nor a dick, if you can live and let live, well, come on in!
We may chop off one of your pinkies, you may be surprised to volunteer your couch for some or all of us to crash on, and like geese fly south, you will desperately want to migrate to Pennsylvania once a year. Good, clean dirt questionab ...well, it’s fun!

However, there are certain behaviors that are unacceptable around here, and are non-negotiable, and that will not be tolerated. If you feel you cannot live without any of them, one way or the other, this place isn’t for you. Please go away.

The things that will not be tolerated here are (subject to appendage):
Sexism, misogyny, racism, antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, hate speech of any kind, ableism, classism, ageism, “white-pride” or “white nationalist” bullshit, holocaust denial, holocaust apologism (yes, that’s a fucking thing now), slut-shaming, bullying, you get the idea.

“But if my intolerance isn’t tolerated, you’re intolerant!”
Yes. About that, we are intolerant. Please go to your local library, or fucking google books, and look up the “Paradox of Tolerance”, by one Karl Popper.
He was probably one of the smartest humans of the 20th century, and he beat you to it. Only by about 80 years.

Alright, alright. But surely, it’s cool if I x
We prefer xxx, but probably, yeah.
Please take note that this place is
  • not an advertising outlet. Spammers can fuck right off.
  • not your e-commerce website. Go earn a living elsewhere.
  • not a church. It’s cool if you want to talk about religion with other people. But continuous proselytizing will be considered spamming.
  • not the fucking Pirate Bay. Don’t use the board as part of your devious copyright piracy plot.
  • not fucking Tinder. Nobody wants to see your dick pics. Unless they’re entertaining, obviously.
  • not a political arena. We love discussing politics. But that’s it, we discuss. We don’t rally. Rallying that doesn’t involve knobbly tires isn’t welcome.
So before we finally deal with the GDPR, here are a few final items

You accept that you must and affirm that you do, be you a guest or a registered user, trust the Administerrerrer and moderators when they promise that they will neither use your data or information in any way that's not reasonably a part of operating this website and forum, will not sell your data or information to any 3rd parties, nor will manipulate your posts or messages or anything like either to put words into your mouth.
If you cannot trust us that far, you really shouldn't be here.
Likewise, you accept that the people running this website and forum act reasonable, acceptable, and in good faith when they trust each other not to violate your trust.
You trust that we will not just respect each other, respect you, and respect the rules we give ourselves, but that we also respect the law.
Likewise, we (Administerrerrerr and moderators) trust the registered users to refrain from the unacceptable behavior outlined above and let all such users post without prior approval of individual posts or topics. Even if we did have to step in, we'd only know that after something unacceptable has been posted.

Your Debauchery
Anytime you click "debauch", or when you send a private message, or when you Give A Fuck, or when you upload attachments, any time you, the user, submit content of any kind, that submission and the content you contributed there is recorded and stored.
That being the whole idea of an online forum, which exists for the purpose of exchanging user-generated content (aka yelling at each other over trivialities and showing off pics of your bike and all of that jazz).
You decide what the public, or recipients of your private messages, will read and see about you.
You may delete or edit posts for up to 12 hours after initially posting them. After that, you'll have to convince the administerrerrerr why he should correct the past, or send something down the memory hole. He don't much like doing that, mind.

While the administerrerrerr, backup admin and moderators affirm they won't ever put words into anybody's mouth, they reserve the right to remove or truncate, at their discretion, posts, gallery images, attachments, or whatever else you can do around here, that have illegal content, or violate our Terms of Use, or contain personal information of persons other than the user posting them. Ditto if a copyright holder complains about something being a copyright violation (i.e. something that ain't fair use, etc.).

Apart from all of that, contributions are considered to be intended for permanent display to the audience you chose (with posts being public, messages being private, etc.). Blanket removal of a user's posts will likely break a lot of old conversations. So while you can delete anything you had previously chosen to add to your profile, and while the administerrerrerr will delete your contact information and password at your request, blanket removal of your old posts, attachments, gallery photos, and associated information, such as your username, is not going to happen. Think before you post.
Hypothetically, you might be able to make the case why the admin should do the (potentially extensive) database surgery to change the username that's associated with your contributions. He cannot, at present, conceive such a reason that doesn't involve existential threats or such dire business.
Seriously. Think. Before. You. Post.

Other websites
UTMC or the Administerrerrerr cannot exercise any authority over any websites other than
When a post is shared to social media, they may render a preview of content you had submitted. Search engine bots come through, and your content will be cached and indexed on a search engine.
Archival websites (like the Wayback Machine) straight up archive stuff that you may have contributed.
And all of that isn’t even addressing that someone might just copy paste something you put up. It’s the 21st century, and the internet doesn’t forget. Stuff spreads like a fungus.
Think. Before. You. FungusPost.

Revision of these rules
It may, for a number of reasons, become necessary to truncate, append, or otherwise edit or amend these rules.
And major changes will be announced on the message board. Announcing and discussing every detail correction may not be feasible, though.
What will not change is that your data that you haven’t made public yourself won’t be made public, nor will we sell it or hand it on for any other reason than legal compulsion or protecting lives.

Salvatory clause
There may be one or more items in this document, and/or in the brief version of the privacy policy that was offered for your review with your cookie notice (and that you can find here) that implicitly or explicitly
  • contradict one or more other items in these documents
  • contradict themselves
  • violate or suggest the violation of applicable laws or regulations
  • violate the laws of nature, logic, mathematics, or reality itself
  • have typographic or grammatical errors
You accept as binding any item in these documents that does not itself exhibit at least one of the qualities in this list.
You agree and accept that any item exhibiting one or more of these flaws does not thereby render any other item or items invalid, flawed, inapplicable, irrelevant, or otherwise illegitimate.
You agree and accept that any item or items that do/does exhibit one or more of these qualities, but may be interpreted in a manner that would remove or fix this flaw, it is to be so interpreted.
While we have attempted to create our policies to be as unambiguous as possible, we may have failed to succeed in that endeavor. You accept and agree that if any item in these documents may be interpreted in different ways, it is to be interpreted so as to be to the benefit of the UTMC and the operators of this website and forum.
You accept and agree that the UTMC holds no liability of any kind that is not explicitly accepted in this document or in the brief version of the privacy policy.

Last updated December 28, 2019

So you’re hanging out with the Underground Terrorist Motorcycle Cult, aka UTMC (“UTMC”, “we”, “us”, or “our”). We are committed to protecting your personal information and your right to privacy. If you have any questions or concerns about our policy , or our practices with regards to your personal information, please contact us at
When you visit our website, and use our services, you trust us with your personal information. We take your privacy very seriously. In this privacy policy, we seek to explain to you in the clearest way possible what information we collect, how we use it and what rights you have in relation to it. We hope you take some time to read through it carefully, as it is important. If there are any terms in this privacy policy that you do not agree with, please discontinue use of our Sites and our services. 
This privacy policy applies to all information collected through our website (such as, and/or any related services, sales, marketing or events (we refer to them collectively in this privacy policy as the "Services").  
Please read this privacy policy carefully as it will help you make informed decisions about sharing your personal information with us.   

Please click the button to display the corresponding item text.
Personal information you disclose to us 
In Short: We collect personal information that you provide to us such as name, address, contact information, passwords and security data, and payment information.
We collect personal information that you voluntarily provide to us when registering at the Services expressing an interest in obtaining information about us or our products and services, when participating in activities on the Services (such as posting messages in our online forums or entering competitions, contests or giveaways) or otherwise contacting us.
The personal information that we collect depends on the context of your interactions with us and the Services, the choices you make and the products and features you use. The personal information we collect can include the following:
Publicly Available Personal Information. We collect email addresses; and other similar data.
Personal Information Provided by You. We collect data collected from surveys; and other similar data.
Credentials. We collect passwords, password hints, and similar security information used for authentication and account access.
All personal information that you provide to us must be true, complete and accurate, and you must notify us of any changes to such personal information.  

Information automatically collected 
In Short: Some information – such as IP address and/or browser and device characteristics – is collected automatically when you visit our Services.
We automatically collect certain information when you visit, use or navigate the Services. This information does not reveal your specific identity (like your name or contact information) but may include device and usage information, such as your IP address, browser and device characteristics, operating system, language preferences, referring URLs, device name, country, location, information about how and when you use our Services and other technical information. This information is primarily needed to maintain the security and operation of our Services, and for our internal analytics and reporting purposes.
Like many businesses, we also collect information through cookies and similar technologies.
Online Identifiers. We collect tools and protocols, such as IP (Internet Protocol) addresses; cookie identifiers, or others such as the ones used for analytics and marketing; and other similar data.
In Short:  We process your information for purposes based on legitimate business interests, the fulfillment of our contract with you, compliance with our legal obligations, and/or your consent.  
We use personal information collected via our Services for a variety of business purposes described below. We process your personal information for these purposes in reliance on our legitimate business interests, in order to enter into or perform a contract with you, with your consent, and/or for compliance with our legal obligations. We indicate the specific processing grounds we rely on next to each purpose listed below.  
We use the information we collect or receive: 
• To facilitate account creation and logon process. If you choose to link your account with us to a third party account (such as your Google or Facebook account), we use the information you allowed us to collect from those third parties to facilitate account creation and logon process for the performance of the contract.
• To send administrative information to you. We may use your personal information to send you product, service and new feature information and/or information about changes to our terms, conditions, and policies.
• To protect our Services. We may use your information as part of our efforts to keep our Services safe and secure (for example, for fraud monitoring and prevention).
• To enable user-to-user communications. We may use your information in order to enable user-to-user communications with each user's consent.
• To enforce our terms, conditions and policies for Business Purposes, Legal Reasons and Contractual.
• To respond to legal requests and prevent harm. If we receive a subpoena or other legal request, we may need to inspect the data we hold to determine how to respond.
• To manage user accounts. We may use your information for the purposes of managing our account and keeping it in working order.
• To deliver services to the user. We may use your information to provide you with the requested service.
• To respond to user inquiries/offer support to users.  We may use your information to respond to your inquiries and solve any potential issues you might have with the use of our Services.
In Short:  We only share information with your consent, to comply with laws, to provide you with services, to protect your rights, or to fulfill business obligations.   
We may process or share data based on the following legal basis:
• Consent: We may process your data if you have given us specific consent to use your personal information in a specific purpose. 
• Legitimate Interests: We may process your data when it is reasonably necessary to achieve our legitimate business interests. 
• Performance of a Contract: Where we have entered into a contract with you, we may process your personal information to fulfill the terms of our contract. 
• Legal Obligations: We may disclose your information where we are legally required to do so in order to comply with applicable law, governmental requests, a judicial proceeding, court order, or legal process, such as in response to a court order or a subpoena (including in response to public authorities to meet national security or law enforcement requirements). 
• Vital Interests: We may disclose your information where we believe it is necessary to investigate, prevent, or take action regarding potential violations of our policies, suspected fraud, situations involving potential threats to the safety of any person and illegal activities, or as evidence in litigation in which we are involved.
More specifically, we may need to process your data or share your personal information in the following situations:   
• Business Transfers. We may share or transfer your information in connection with, or during negotiations of, any merger, sale of company assets, financing, or acquisition of all or a portion of our business to another company.
• Third-Party Advertisers. We may use third-party advertising companies to serve ads when you visit the Services. These companies may use information about your visits to our Website(s) and other websites that are contained in web cookies and other tracking technologies in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you.
In Short:  We may use cookies and other tracking technologies to collect and store your information.  
We may use cookies and similar tracking technologies (like web beacons and pixels) to access or store information. Specific information about how we use such technologies and how you can refuse certain cookies is set out in our Cookie Policy.
In Short:  Yes, we use Google Maps for the purpose of providing better service.  
This website, mobile application, or Facebook application uses Google Maps APIs. You may find the Google Maps APIs Terms of Service here. To better understand Google’s Privacy Policy, please refer to this link.
By using our Maps API Implementation, you agree to be bound by Google’s Terms of Service. By using our implementation of the Google Maps APIs, you agree to allow us to gain access to information about you including personally identifiable information (such as usernames) and non-personally identifiable information (such as location). We will be collecting the following information:
■  The user's location, as provided by the user.
For a full list of what we use information for, please see the previous section titled "HOW DO WE USE YOUR INFORMATION?" and “WILL YOUR INFORMATION BE SHARED WITH ANYONE?”
The Maps APIs that we use store and access cookies and other information on your devices. If you are a user currently in the European Economic Area (EU countries, Iceland, Liechtenstein and Norway), please take a look at our EU User Consent Policy.   
In Short:  We may transfer, store, and process your information in countries other than your own.  
Our servers are located in. If you are accessing our Services from outside, please be aware that your information may be transferred to, stored, and processed by us in our facilities and by those third parties with whom we may share your personal information (see "WILL YOUR INFORMATION BE SHARED WITH ANYONE?" above), in and other countries.
If you are a resident in the European Economic Area, then these countries may not have data protection or other laws as comprehensive as those in your country. We will however take all necessary measures to protect your personal information in accordance with this privacy policy and applicable law.
In Short:  We keep your information for as long as necessary to fulfill the purposes outlined in this privacy policy unless otherwise required by law.   
We will only keep your personal information for as long as it is necessary for the purposes set out in this privacy policy, unless a longer retention period is required or permitted by law (such as tax, accounting or other legal requirements). No purpose in this policy will require us keeping your personal information for longer than __________.
When we have no ongoing legitimate business need to process your personal information, we will either delete or anonymize it, or, if this is not possible (for example, because your personal information has been stored in backup archives), then we will securely store your personal information and isolate it from any further processing until deletion is possible.
In Short:  We aim to protect your personal information through a system of organizational and technical security measures.  
We have implemented appropriate technical and organizational security measures designed to protect the security of any personal information we process. However, please also remember that we cannot guarantee that the internet itself is 100% secure. Although we will do our best to protect your personal information, transmission of personal information to and from our Services is at your own risk. You should only access the services within a secure environment.
In Short:  We do not knowingly collect data from or market to children under 18 years of age.  
We do not knowingly solicit data from or market to children under 18 years of age. By using the Services, you represent that you are at least 18 or that you are the parent or guardian of such a minor and consent to such minor dependent’s use of the Services. If we learn that personal information from users less than 18 years of age has been collected, we will deactivate the account and take reasonable measures to promptly delete such data from our records. If you become aware of any data we have collected from children under age 18, please contact us at
In Short:  In some regions, such as the European Economic Area, you have rights that allow you greater access to and control over your personal information. You may review, change, or terminate your account at any time.
In some regions (like the European Economic Area), you have certain rights under applicable data protection laws. These may include the right (i) to request access and obtain a copy of your personal information, (ii) to request rectification or erasure; (iii) to restrict the processing of your personal information; and (iv) if applicable, to data portability. In certain circumstances, you may also have the right to object to the processing of your personal information. To make such a request, please use the contact details provided below. We will consider and act upon any request in accordance with applicable data protection laws.
If we are relying on your consent to process your personal information, you have the right to withdraw your consent at any time. Please note however that this will not affect the lawfulness of the processing before its withdrawal.
If you are resident in the European Economic Area and you believe we are unlawfully processing your personal information, you also have the right to complain to your local data protection supervisory authority. You can find their contact details here: ... dex_en.htm.

Account Information  
If you would at any time like to review or change the information in your account or terminate your account, you can: 
    ■  Contact us using the contact information provided.  
Upon your request to terminate your account, we will deactivate or delete your account and information from our active databases. However, some information may be retained in our files to prevent fraud, troubleshoot problems, assist with any investigations, enforce our Terms of Use and/or comply with legal requirements.

Cookies and similar technologies: 
Most Web browsers are set to accept cookies by default. If you prefer, you can usually choose to set your browser to remove cookies and to reject cookies. If you choose to remove cookies or reject cookies, this could affect certain features or services of our Services. To opt-out of interest-based advertising by advertisers on our Services visit

Opting out of email marketing: 
We regret that we cannot allow you to opt out of email marketing.
We don't do it, so there's no opting to begin with.
Any email you get will either relate to notifications you've received, someone trying to get in touch with you directly, or the Administerrerrerr needing to Administerrerrerr.
Most web browsers and some mobile operating systems and mobile applications include a Do-Not-Track (“DNT”) feature or setting you can activate to signal your privacy preference not to have data about your online browsing activities monitored and collected. No uniform technology standard for recognizing and implementing DNT signals has been finalized. As such, we do not currently respond to DNT browser signals or any other mechanism that automatically communicates your choice not to be tracked online. If a standard for online tracking is adopted that we must follow in the future, we will inform you about that practice in a revised version of this privacy policy.  
In Short:  Yes, if you are a resident of California, you are granted specific rights regarding access to your personal information.   
California Civil Code Section 1798.83, also known as the “Shine The Light” law, permits our users who are California residents to request and obtain from us, once a year and free of charge, information about categories of personal information (if any) we disclosed to third parties for direct marketing purposes and the names and addresses of all third parties with which we shared personal information in the immediately preceding calendar year. If you are a California resident and would like to make such a request, please submit your request in writing to us using the contact information provided below. 
If you are under 18 years of age, reside in California, and have a registered account with the Services, you have the right to request removal of unwanted data that you publicly post on the Services. To request removal of such data, please contact us using the contact information provided below, and include the email address associated with your account and a statement that you reside in California. We will make sure the data is not publicly displayed on the Services, but please be aware that the data may not be completely or comprehensively removed from our systems.
In Short:  Yes, we will update this policy as necessary to stay compliant with relevant laws.  
We may update this privacy policy from time to time. The updated version will be indicated by an updated “Revised” date and the updated version will be effective as soon as it is accessible. If we make material changes to this privacy policy, we may notify you either by prominently posting a notice of such changes or by directly sending you a notification. We encourage you to review this privacy policy frequently to be informed of how we are protecting your information.
If you have questions or comments about this policy, you may email us at, or by the contact form you find if you follow the “Contact Us” link at the bottom of each page.
How can you review, update, or delete the data we collect from you?
Based on the laws of some countries, you may have the right to request access to the personal information we collect from you, change that information, or delete it in some circumstances. To request to review, update, or delete your personal information, please submit a request form by clicking here. We will respond to your request within 30 days.