Why the US had to invade Iraq.
Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:54 am
I recieved this via email, I'll just translate it from German.
Anyone who feels that a frigging foreigner should STFU, feel free to start with the flaming.
Anyway....
Why the USA had to invade Iraq
In the evening, somewhere in the USA.....
Son: Dad, why did we have to attac Iraq?
Father: Because they had WMDs.
Son: But the Inspectors found no WMDs.
Father: Because the Iraqis had hidden them.
Son: And that's why we conquered Iraq?
Father: Yes. Conquests always work better than inspections.
Son: But after we conquered it, we still didn't find any WMDs, did we?
Father: Because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we will find something, probably shortly before the 2004 elections.
Son: Why did Iraq want to have all those WMDs?
Father: To use them in war, silly.
Son: I am confused. If they had all these weapons to use them in war, why didn't they use them when we were at war with them?
Father: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had these weapons and then decided to die by the thousands rather than to defend themselves.
Son: That doesn't make sense. Why would they decide to die, if they had all these weapons they could have defended themselves with?
Father: It's a different culture. It doesn't have to make sense.
Son: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had the weapons our government said they had in the first place.
Father: Well, you know, it isn't important wether or not they had the weapons. We had another good reason to attack them.
Son: And what was that?
Father: Even if Iraq had no WMDs, Saddam Hussein was an evil dictator, which is also a good reason to attack another country.
Son: Why? what does an evil dictator do so that it is right to attac his country?
Father: Well, among other things, he tortured his own people.
Son: Like they do in China?
Father: Don't compare China to Iraq. China is a good economical competitor, where millions of people labour for slave-wages in sweatshops to make US companies richer.
Son: So, if a country exploits it's own people for the benefit of american companies, it is a good country, even if it tortures it's own people?
Father: Correct.
Son: Why were people tortured in Iraq?
Father: Mainly for political crimes, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were put in into prison and were tortured.
Son: Isn't that the same that happens in China?
Father: I told you, China is different.
Son: What is the difference between China and Iraq?
Father: Well, among other things, Iraq was ruled by the Baath-Party, whereas China is communist.
Son: Didn't you once tell me communists were evil?
Father: No, only Cuban communists.
Son: Why are the Cuban communists evil?
Father: Well, among other things because people who criticize the Cuban government get thrown into prison and are tortured.
Son: Like in Iraq?
Father: Exactly.
Son: And like in China?
Father: As I said, China is a good economical competitor, Cuba on the other hand doesn't care about that.
Son: How come Cuba isn't a good economical competitor?
Father: Well, you know, back in the sixties our government made some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do business with Cuba until they are no longer communists but capitalists like us.
Son: But if we were to get rid of these laws, traded with Cuba and did business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans to become capitalists?
Father: Don't be a know-it-all.
Son: I didn't think I was.
Father: Well, it doesn't matter, because there is also no freedom of religion in Cuba.
Son: Like in China with the Falun-Gong-Movement?
Father: I told you before: stop talking bad about China!
In any case, Saddam got to power through a military coup, so he isn't a legitimate leader.
Son: What is a military coup?
Father: That is when a military general takes over the government of a country by force rather than with elections, as we do here in the USA.
Son: Didn't the leader of Pakistan come to power through a military coup?
Father: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Erm, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Son: Why is Pakistan our Friend if their leader isn't so legitimately?
Father: I never said Pervez Musharraf was not legitimate.
Son: Didn't you say that a military general, who comes to power by toppling the legitimate government of a country by force, is not a legitimate leader?
Father: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend because he helped us attack Afghanistan.
Son: Why did we attack Afghanistan?
Father: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Son: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
Father: Well, on September 11th 19 men - fifteen of them from Saudi-Arabia - hijacked four of our airplanes and flew them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 4000 people.
Son: And what did Afghanistan do there?
Father: Those evil men were trained in Afghanistan, under the crushing might of the Taliban.
Son: Aren't the Taliban those evil radical islamists who chopped people's hands and heads off?
Father: Yes, them. Not only did they chop people's hands and heads off, but they also supressed women.
Son: Didn't the Bush government give 43 million US-Dollars to the Taliban in May 2001?
Father: Yes, that was a reward because they fought drugs so succesfully.
Son: Fought drugs?
Father: Yes, the Taliban were very helpfull in stopping the Opium production.
Son: How did they do that so well?
Father: Simple. If people were caught growing Opium, the Taliban chopped their hands and heads off.
Son: So when the Taliban chopped people's hands and heads off for growing plants that was okay, but not when they chopped hands and heads off for other reasosn?
Father: Exactly. It's okay for us the islamist fundamentalists chop people's hands off because they grew plants, but it is evil if they chop people's hands of because they stole bread.
Son: Don't they also chop people's hands and heads off in Saudi-Arabia?
Father: That is different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchate that suppressed women and forced them to wear burkas in public, with stoning as a penalty for the women who wouldn't obey.
Son: Don't Saudi women have to wear Burkas in public, too?
Father: No, Saudi women only wear a traditional islamic body cover.
Son: What is the difference?
Father: The traditional islamic body cover, as it is worn by Saudi women, is a decent and yet elegant piece of clothing that covers the entire female body except the eyes and the fingers. The Burka, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchial supression which covers the entire female body except the eyes and the fingers.
Son: Sound like the same thing with different names.
Father:W ell, you can't compare Saudi-Arabia with Afghanistan.
The Saudis are our friends.
Son: But I thought 15 of the 19 hijackers of September 11th came from Saudi-Arabia?
Father: Yes, but they were trained in Afghanistan.
Son: Who trained them?
Father: A very evil man with the name Osama bin Laden.
Son: Was he from Afghanistan?
Father: Erm, no, he came from Saudi-Arabia. But he is an evil, a very evil man.
Son: I think I remember he once was our friend.
Father: Only when we helped im and his Mudshaheddin in the eighties fight back the soviet invasion of Afghanistan.
Son: Who were the Soviets? Were they the evil comminust empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
Father: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union dissolved in 1990 or something, and now they have elections and capitalism like we do. We call the Russians now.
Son: So the Soviets - I mean the Russians - are our friends now?
Father: Well, not really. You know, they were our friends for many years, after they stopped being Soviets. But then they decided not to support our attack against Iraq and now we are angry with them. We are also angry with the French and the Germans for not supporting us either.
Son: So the French and the Germans are evil, too?
Father: Not really evil, but bad enough so that we had to rename "French Fries" and "French Toast" to "Freedom Fries" and "Freedom Toast".
Son: Do we always rename food when a country doesn't do what we want it to?
Father: No, we only do that with our friends. Our enemies we attack.
Son: But wasn't Iraq our friend in the eighties?
Father: Well, yeah, for a while.
Son: Was Saddam Hussein already the leader of Iraq then?
Father: Yes, but in that time he fought Iran, which made him our friend temporarily.
Son: Why did that make him our friend.
Father: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Son: Didn't he gas the Kurds at that time?
Father: Yes, but because he fought Iran at the time we looked away, to show we were it's friend.
Son: So annyone who fights our enemies is our friend?
Father: Largerly, yes.
Son: And anyone who fights our friends automatically becomes our enemy?
Father: Sometimea that is true, too. But when US companies can profit from selling weapons to both sides, the better.
Son: Why?
Father: Because war is good for the economy, which means that war is good for the USA. And since God is on the side of the USA, any oponent to war is an unamerican communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Son: I think we attacked them because God wanted us to do it, right?
Father: Yes.
Son: But how did we know that God wanted us to attack Iraq?
Father: Well, you know, God talks directly to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Son: So in effect you are saying that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush was hearing voices?
Father: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable and sleep. Good night.
Son: Good night, dad.
Anyone who feels that a frigging foreigner should STFU, feel free to start with the flaming.
Anyway....
Why the USA had to invade Iraq
In the evening, somewhere in the USA.....
Son: Dad, why did we have to attac Iraq?
Father: Because they had WMDs.
Son: But the Inspectors found no WMDs.
Father: Because the Iraqis had hidden them.
Son: And that's why we conquered Iraq?
Father: Yes. Conquests always work better than inspections.
Son: But after we conquered it, we still didn't find any WMDs, did we?
Father: Because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we will find something, probably shortly before the 2004 elections.
Son: Why did Iraq want to have all those WMDs?
Father: To use them in war, silly.
Son: I am confused. If they had all these weapons to use them in war, why didn't they use them when we were at war with them?
Father: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had these weapons and then decided to die by the thousands rather than to defend themselves.
Son: That doesn't make sense. Why would they decide to die, if they had all these weapons they could have defended themselves with?
Father: It's a different culture. It doesn't have to make sense.
Son: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had the weapons our government said they had in the first place.
Father: Well, you know, it isn't important wether or not they had the weapons. We had another good reason to attack them.
Son: And what was that?
Father: Even if Iraq had no WMDs, Saddam Hussein was an evil dictator, which is also a good reason to attack another country.
Son: Why? what does an evil dictator do so that it is right to attac his country?
Father: Well, among other things, he tortured his own people.
Son: Like they do in China?
Father: Don't compare China to Iraq. China is a good economical competitor, where millions of people labour for slave-wages in sweatshops to make US companies richer.
Son: So, if a country exploits it's own people for the benefit of american companies, it is a good country, even if it tortures it's own people?
Father: Correct.
Son: Why were people tortured in Iraq?
Father: Mainly for political crimes, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were put in into prison and were tortured.
Son: Isn't that the same that happens in China?
Father: I told you, China is different.
Son: What is the difference between China and Iraq?
Father: Well, among other things, Iraq was ruled by the Baath-Party, whereas China is communist.
Son: Didn't you once tell me communists were evil?
Father: No, only Cuban communists.
Son: Why are the Cuban communists evil?
Father: Well, among other things because people who criticize the Cuban government get thrown into prison and are tortured.
Son: Like in Iraq?
Father: Exactly.
Son: And like in China?
Father: As I said, China is a good economical competitor, Cuba on the other hand doesn't care about that.
Son: How come Cuba isn't a good economical competitor?
Father: Well, you know, back in the sixties our government made some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do business with Cuba until they are no longer communists but capitalists like us.
Son: But if we were to get rid of these laws, traded with Cuba and did business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans to become capitalists?
Father: Don't be a know-it-all.
Son: I didn't think I was.
Father: Well, it doesn't matter, because there is also no freedom of religion in Cuba.
Son: Like in China with the Falun-Gong-Movement?
Father: I told you before: stop talking bad about China!
In any case, Saddam got to power through a military coup, so he isn't a legitimate leader.
Son: What is a military coup?
Father: That is when a military general takes over the government of a country by force rather than with elections, as we do here in the USA.
Son: Didn't the leader of Pakistan come to power through a military coup?
Father: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Erm, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Son: Why is Pakistan our Friend if their leader isn't so legitimately?
Father: I never said Pervez Musharraf was not legitimate.
Son: Didn't you say that a military general, who comes to power by toppling the legitimate government of a country by force, is not a legitimate leader?
Father: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend because he helped us attack Afghanistan.
Son: Why did we attack Afghanistan?
Father: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Son: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
Father: Well, on September 11th 19 men - fifteen of them from Saudi-Arabia - hijacked four of our airplanes and flew them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 4000 people.
Son: And what did Afghanistan do there?
Father: Those evil men were trained in Afghanistan, under the crushing might of the Taliban.
Son: Aren't the Taliban those evil radical islamists who chopped people's hands and heads off?
Father: Yes, them. Not only did they chop people's hands and heads off, but they also supressed women.
Son: Didn't the Bush government give 43 million US-Dollars to the Taliban in May 2001?
Father: Yes, that was a reward because they fought drugs so succesfully.
Son: Fought drugs?
Father: Yes, the Taliban were very helpfull in stopping the Opium production.
Son: How did they do that so well?
Father: Simple. If people were caught growing Opium, the Taliban chopped their hands and heads off.
Son: So when the Taliban chopped people's hands and heads off for growing plants that was okay, but not when they chopped hands and heads off for other reasosn?
Father: Exactly. It's okay for us the islamist fundamentalists chop people's hands off because they grew plants, but it is evil if they chop people's hands of because they stole bread.
Son: Don't they also chop people's hands and heads off in Saudi-Arabia?
Father: That is different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchate that suppressed women and forced them to wear burkas in public, with stoning as a penalty for the women who wouldn't obey.
Son: Don't Saudi women have to wear Burkas in public, too?
Father: No, Saudi women only wear a traditional islamic body cover.
Son: What is the difference?
Father: The traditional islamic body cover, as it is worn by Saudi women, is a decent and yet elegant piece of clothing that covers the entire female body except the eyes and the fingers. The Burka, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchial supression which covers the entire female body except the eyes and the fingers.
Son: Sound like the same thing with different names.
Father:W ell, you can't compare Saudi-Arabia with Afghanistan.
The Saudis are our friends.
Son: But I thought 15 of the 19 hijackers of September 11th came from Saudi-Arabia?
Father: Yes, but they were trained in Afghanistan.
Son: Who trained them?
Father: A very evil man with the name Osama bin Laden.
Son: Was he from Afghanistan?
Father: Erm, no, he came from Saudi-Arabia. But he is an evil, a very evil man.
Son: I think I remember he once was our friend.
Father: Only when we helped im and his Mudshaheddin in the eighties fight back the soviet invasion of Afghanistan.
Son: Who were the Soviets? Were they the evil comminust empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
Father: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union dissolved in 1990 or something, and now they have elections and capitalism like we do. We call the Russians now.
Son: So the Soviets - I mean the Russians - are our friends now?
Father: Well, not really. You know, they were our friends for many years, after they stopped being Soviets. But then they decided not to support our attack against Iraq and now we are angry with them. We are also angry with the French and the Germans for not supporting us either.
Son: So the French and the Germans are evil, too?
Father: Not really evil, but bad enough so that we had to rename "French Fries" and "French Toast" to "Freedom Fries" and "Freedom Toast".
Son: Do we always rename food when a country doesn't do what we want it to?
Father: No, we only do that with our friends. Our enemies we attack.
Son: But wasn't Iraq our friend in the eighties?
Father: Well, yeah, for a while.
Son: Was Saddam Hussein already the leader of Iraq then?
Father: Yes, but in that time he fought Iran, which made him our friend temporarily.
Son: Why did that make him our friend.
Father: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Son: Didn't he gas the Kurds at that time?
Father: Yes, but because he fought Iran at the time we looked away, to show we were it's friend.
Son: So annyone who fights our enemies is our friend?
Father: Largerly, yes.
Son: And anyone who fights our friends automatically becomes our enemy?
Father: Sometimea that is true, too. But when US companies can profit from selling weapons to both sides, the better.
Son: Why?
Father: Because war is good for the economy, which means that war is good for the USA. And since God is on the side of the USA, any oponent to war is an unamerican communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Son: I think we attacked them because God wanted us to do it, right?
Father: Yes.
Son: But how did we know that God wanted us to attack Iraq?
Father: Well, you know, God talks directly to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Son: So in effect you are saying that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush was hearing voices?
Father: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable and sleep. Good night.
Son: Good night, dad.