UTMC

In a German grocery store.


The Googles! Hear my command!
Translate Alles für den Schulanfang!

Bigshankhank wrote:Sorry for the lame reference, I was trying to find the quote from Tommy Boy where he screws up the line about looking up a bulls ass, but all I could find was the correct quotation. It was something like "I could get a good look at a butchers ass by sticking my head up there, no, the butcher looks up my ass, wait..." but I know that's not it. Its early here.

no, it has to be your bull

Gallipoli, 1915.

DerGolgo wrote:Gallipoli, 1915.

Any idea what caliber those are?

--Jaeger

I would guess .303 British off hand (.308 actual measurement) but it could also be 6.5 Mauser or both.

Common rifles for the Ottoman Empire and Imperial Germany and Austro-Hungary were the Mauser Gewehr 88 and 98 rifles. That's the kind of rifle a common infantryman would have been issued. Either type would have been chambered for 7.92×57mm Mauser from what I understand.
The British Empire, as it was, had any number of shooters in .303 British, also referred to as the 7.7×56mmR.
The French republic, at some point, issued basically every kind of boom-stick they could lay their hands on. Including the sort of breach loader that'd be fed paper-cartridges, like the Chassepot, apparently.
However, at Gallipoli, during only the second year of the war, it was the Oriental Expeditionary Corps. A regular outfit, so they probably had regulation shooters. Which would have been a Lebel Model 1886, chambered for 8×51mmR French, aka 8mm Lebel. As far as I, a non-francophone ignoramus, can find out by online research and reasonable deduction in less than ten delightful minutes.

So, two of those three, just by the law of large numbers. I'm sure someone more familiar with the guns of WW1 and with ballistic fingerprinting could probably deduce a lot from the striations on the darker round and what can be determined of its length/width ratio.

Addendum:
On August 6th 1915, 100 years and 1 day ago, the Britsh Empire landed at Sulva Bay, the beginning of the August offensive that was their last attempt to break this particular WW1 deadlock.
Knowing little about the above artifact's exact provenance, it is quite possibly exactly one century old as I type this.

Touted as "virtual LSD." It certainly fucked with my eyes for about a minute after I'd watched it.

[media]https://youtu.be/8gClQFFfNVA[/media]

--Jaeger

I'm going to back and forth from that to the wood grain door in my office here for possibly the rest of the night...

-Rench

Huh. They showed us a tricks like that in art class at school, so we'd appreciate color perception and stuff (German art class, indeed).

That makes my cubicle work much more interesting and enjoyable. It may or may not have given me the giggles.

DerGolgo wrote:

Spoiler

Show

I got as far as "we dont live in ob..." before I couldn't make out any letters anymore. My eyes already are fucked-with, and the resolution in that video was not very good. Did anyone get the full message at the center?

"wedontliveinaworldofrealirybutinaworldofperceptions"

--Jaeger

Not too far from me is the Sauerland mountains. Where I had the accident, but that's beside the point.
Good riding, twisty roads, not so densely populated (by our Jerry standards).
One of the main towns there is Lüdenscheid, population 72,923.
But with all them hills and the roads being twisty as they are, you might have trouble finding it.
But worry not! Us Jerries are good at putting up signage! Not just for a diversion ("Umleitung").



No, that's not photoshop. I understand this exists.

Who wants some Öhlins forks?

DerGolgo wrote:Who wants some Öhlins forks?

Shut up and TAKE MY MONEY!
Want!
NEED....

Bo_9 wrote:

DerGolgo wrote:Who wants some Öhlins forks?

Shut up and TAKE MY MONEY!
Want!
NEED....

What he said!

Just gonna leave this here.

Caption: Just gonna leave this here ...

Don't act like you don't have a Goofy hat and a dress form in your motorcycle gear room.

German made bearing vs Chinese knockoff.
[media]https://youtu.be/RepARd6db7c[/media]

Bigshankhank wrote:German made bearing vs Chinese knockoff.
[media]https://youtu.be/RepARd6db7c[/media]

But the Chinese bearings are 1/4 the price and come in packs of 10!

Huh.
Fun story:
I went to engineering school (ha). As you hear here, ball-bearings are known as "Kugellager" here in Jerry-land. Kugel is ball, Lager is the bearing. On the note of translating things, the German verb for "make", as in to create an item, for "assembling" or "manufacturing" is "bauen".
Machine-element class, the professor is demonstrating how to calculate the application-specific service-life of a ball-bearing. Somehow, the topic of the lecture skiddled into German bearings and cheap, cheerful Polish bearings. And the specs the manufacturers would publish, which you need to calculate your service life.
We were advised not to trust the specs provided by Polish bearing makers. The manufacturers only copy the German spec-sheets, because were they honest, everyone would immediately see the lesser quality of their product.
"Die Deutschen waren schon immer die besten im Lagerbau."
or in English
"The Germans always were best at making bearings."
And here's the problem. Another translation for "bauen" is "to build". While "Lager" also, more commonly even, means warehouse, or storage area or suchlike.
Or ... camp. Like a camp with tents. But also as in those camps, yap.
The whole class did snicker. Neither the professor, nor his assistant, seemed to get what was funny.

Wow. Thank you, DG, that was so worth the explanation! And people say Germans aren't funny...

Sorry DG

http://www.snopes.com/cow-eyeballs-in-dui/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Mk3 wrote:Sorry DG

http://www.snopes.com/cow-eyeballs-in-dui/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

... on christmas eve!!

Yummy!



How To: Create Your Own Realistic, Edible Human Fingers

--Jaeger

Jaeger wrote:Yummy!



How To: Create Your Own Realistic, Edible Human Fingers

--Jaeger

Christ almighty I quick scrolled past that image and thought it was a plate of severed dicks.
Bonus points to Jeagar if he makes them and wears one as a "replacement".

Here ya go...

Moar...

I learned something very important today, something one would think an internet savvy adult such as myself should already know. Quick, can anyone name this character from Pixar's Finding Nemo?


Now I did not create that animated .gif file, but I have found it useful from time to time when I wanted to express my exuberance via text message. As I have an antiquated phone with little available memory, I typically download it via google, text it and then delete it. In an effort to streamline the search this morning I decided to input the character's name along with the word sweet and voila, well you can imagine my shock when that character's name coupled with the word "sweet" and "animated gif" as search terms brought up some rather unsavory moving images. I have never in all my life had to work so hard to stifle a laugh while at work, tears were leaking from my eyes. Good times.

Ames?