UTMC

It's a river ... a river of gold ... Scottish gold!

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John Farrier on neatorama.com wrote:STV reports that a tanker truck of 27,500 liters of whisky...

Let's pause for a moment and ponder that image: an entire truck full of good whisky!

...okay, back to our story. 6,600 liters of delicious cargo from this truck was accidentally pumped into the wrong vat. It then flowed into the River Ayr. The company that owns the truck was fined £12,000 for reasons I cannot understand.

To be honest, whisky that's transported in a tanker and gets pumped into vats, even if it had been the right vat, probably isn't "good" whisky.
But still ... I'm a liker of whisky. I probably would very much have liked to take a swim in that river there and then. And I don't like swimming.

I like to think they are using the term "vat" as a technically correct but less than flattering term for a finely crafted oak barrel.
Or maybe this is some swill destined to be sold in plastic bottles. In any case, there is nothing in this world that would make me want to swim in that boggy whiskey swamp water. I guess I am a bit more of a purist than our grand Reichsleader.
Now, if it happened to be pumped into a glass swimming pool that had previously been drained and thoroughly cleaned, I might be inclined to dip more than just a toe in. Although at the risk of sounding like a germ-a-phobe, the first time an entire human being much less a penis was submerged in my whiskey, I don't think I'd be able to drink it. I guess I am just weird like that.

DG fancies the Whiskey, eh!? While I'm partial to one particular world famous brand from Tennessee, they make several variations that are harder to find over yonder.

So I've leveraged your visit into a sidehack and now an excuse to stock up on jack... I love hosting!!!



*edit* just read the rest of your post BSH. If it was a swimming pool of whiskey, you have to consider the inherant antiseptic effects thereof. Hell, high enough proof and you'd come out cleaner than you went in! The absorption alone would be epic!!! Ok, getting carried away now. Also thinking of Selma Hayak and a bottle of tequila from years ago. That looked perfectly hygeinic to me...

-Rench

Scotch tastes like dirt, anyway.

guitargeek wrote:Scotch tastes like dirt, anyway.

Boy thats the fucking truth. My brother in law is all about fancy ass fifty year old scotch, and it all tastes terrible to me. So fine, I am not all that refined, I still don't want dick in my whiskey even if Rench doesn't mind it.

Heathens.

Sisyphus wrote:Heathens.

Even though I'm off the stuff, +1 for the good ol' days.

--Jaeger

clearly someone was confused by the term "bourbon and branch"

Once upon a time, I went on a school trip to Scotland (besides the regular family trips).
We visited a distillery, the Glenturret distillery. Where they make "Famous Grouse", a popular brand of blended stuff that's not really all that refined.
But they also make their own-brand stuff that's not entirely easy to find. Fairly hard, actually.
They gave us all a shot of the 29 year old. That was what, sixteen years ago. I can still taste it.
If that's what dirt tastes like, I should have gotten into unpaved aggression years ago.

I keep a bottle of Whisky around. I honestly only ever touch it on special occasions, the current bottle is over a year old now (not much of a drinker, really, not on my lonesome). Usually, nice and smooth and reasonably priced 12 year old Knockando, though last time I had to get a refill, I got adventurous and bought a bottle of "cheated" Glenmorangie. Aged in port barrels, rather than sherry barrels. That whole trend Bowmore started when they accidentally used a Bourbon barrel and ended up selling for three grand a shot. The only way to describe that Glenmorangie accurately is by crying, at the top of your voice, "SMOOTH!". It's not more proof than others, but the aroma alone makes it bit on the strong side for drinking straight.
Still, on those special occasions, I fix myself a rusty nail with that. No ice or any of that nonsense, just the Whisky and the Drambuie. It always makes me smile. I don't mean it tastes nice, I mean that my lips involuntarily stretch into a smile, literally.

I am not a whiskey man. But my brother is. As he says, "I prefer Old Crow, it's the finest liter of whiskey $7.84 will buy."

DG when you get hear we'll hammer enough nails for a coffin. Bring in a few bottles of Euro-fare, so we can all indulge.

I gotta fit stuff for five weeks in luggage I can carry around for five weeks, and on trains and suchlike ... anything I can import probably won't make it far past San Francisco.
Plus, the greatest effect of the British empire is, surely, that Scotch is available pretty much damn everywhere. Going into a German store to buy a bottle that was imported there from Scotland and carry that to America strikes me as an insult to the logistical achievements of modern world trade and so forth.
I live safe in the knowledge that, wherever I am in the world, as long as I can step outside and see women not wrapped up in a body-bag, I can go and buy a bottle of Scotch someplace.

Funny, as I was reading descriptions of dirt in a glass, I was thinking of you Mk3.

This man has tried, with great effort, to expose me to refined drinking. But as far as I've been dragged from Appalachia, some mud never washes out. Whiskey (not scotch), double, neat.

-Rench

If you're visiting los angeles, get yourself to Hi Times Wine in Costa Mesa. They have every kind of wine, liquor and beer you can imagine, at a good price, with a very knowledgeable staff. Overall, possibly the best liquor store in America I've seen yet.