Just got this from a friend. Having been dating a bit of late, I found this quite amusing...
Dear ________, I regret to inform you that you have been
eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably
aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of
well-qualified such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.
(Check those that apply...)
___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
hyphenating
it, or subjecting my children to it.
___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not
something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.
___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left
MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter .
___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20
questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about
myself.
___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your
hands.
___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be
beaten up
repeatedly at recess.
___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck
condition from trying to kiss you.
___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent
slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in
conversation.
___You still live with your parents.
___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star
Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead
me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking
in
a long-term partner.
___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If
you should however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches,
please
resubmit your application.
___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely, _________________
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EVERYTHING IS MARKED UNREAD!!
click her for the instant fix
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First fix:
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
- open the menu at the top
- hit New Posts to see what's actually new and browse the new stuff from there
- go back to the Forum Index
- open the menu at the top again
- click Mark forums read
this will zero the unread anything for you, so you can strive forth into the exciting world of the new cookie thing.
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
Click if you have a problem.
Show
If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
REGISTRATION! NEW USERS!
Registration Information
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Option the First:
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Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
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Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
But fear not!
You can register!
Option the First:
Please drop our fearless Administerrerrerr a line.
Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
Unfortunately, the Contact Form is being a total primadonna right now, so please send an email to the obvious address.
Posting this address in clear text is just the "on" switch for spambots, but here is a hint.
Option the Second:
Find us on Facebook, in the magnificent
Umah Thurman Midget Circus
Join up there, or just drop the modmins a message. They will pass any request on to the Administerrerrerr for this place.
For the ladies of the UTMC...
-
rhinoviper
- Toe-Draggin' Speed Monkey
- Location: Tiny Town
- Contact:
-
purple passion
- El Asbestos Pajamas
- Location: Looking for the"Perfect Storm" -MA
-
schotzy
- Maltov Rattlecan
- Location: Phoenix, currently
- Contact:
-
Ames
- Megachiroptera Übermench
- Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
- Contact:
Personally, I'm of the opinion that crayon adds that oh-so-special touch to a moment of agonizing heartbreak.purple passion wrote:do you think it would be tacky if i keept a stack of those at home and we just filled in the name in pen?? or should we type it in?? I would hate to not follow proper ettiqute!
Cheers,
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.
Ames.
Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you...stranger!
Quid Ita Serius?
You never know how much you appreciate your civil liberties until they've been violated.
-
Neon
- El Asbestos Pajamas
- Location: Un fashionable end of the western spiral arm of the milky way...
- Contact:
-
purple passion
- El Asbestos Pajamas
- Location: Looking for the"Perfect Storm" -MA
-
Pave
- Pin Puller
- Location: Dis-Located
- Contact: