Mustache Party - UPDATE - Happy Cinco de Mustache!

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:04 pm

Hey, I wouldn't print it if it wasn't true. They have slowed in the last few days, I think it was stress.

As for Northern Cell retribution; I await the wrath of the Frozen. With my Aussie conitioned Van Dyke. (Pics should be next week.)

On the up-side, Mama 'Neck still finds the tickler functional and has been lberally applying facial conditioner for me. (group cringe)

sun rat · Post by **sun rat** » Wed Feb 18, 2009 4:00 pm

Metalredneck wrote:Hey, I wouldn't print it if it wasn't true. They have slowed in the last few days, I think it was stress.

As for Northern Cell retribution; I await the wrath of the Frozen. With my Aussie conitioned Van Dyke. (Pics should be next week.)

On the up-side, Mama 'Neck still finds the tickler functional and has been lberally applying facial conditioner for me. (group cringe)

your MOM is taking care of your split ends????

ghost · Post by **ghost** » Wed Feb 18, 2009 6:02 pm

sun rat wrote:
Metalredneck wrote:Hey, I wouldn't print it if it wasn't true. They have slowed in the last few days, I think it was stress.

As for Northern Cell retribution; I await the wrath of the Frozen. With my Aussie conitioned Van Dyke. (Pics should be next week.)

On the up-side, Mama 'Neck still finds the tickler functional and has been lberally applying facial conditioner for me. (group cringe)
your MOM is taking care of your split ends????

Given the assumed referent of "facial conditioner", this is extra-disturbing if it's Metalredneck's mom doing the applying.

And sun rat, I can only assume that there will be mustache rides, though of course neither I nor CincodeMustache Enterprises, Inc.™ (© 2009 CincodeMustache Enterprises) can accept any responsibility for the consequences of said mustache rides.

It looks like there will be a good crop of mustaches this year. Keep growing, all. Fine work so far.

ImEazy · Post by **ImEazy** » Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:19 pm

Sounds like a good time for sure. Unfortunately it is a little too far
away for me this year. I fucked up my stash trying to trim it. Hands
just aren't as steady as they used to be. I am in the process of
regrowing it though as well as another goatee.

A recent pic...

rhinoviper · Post by **rhinoviper** » Wed Feb 18, 2009 11:52 pm

monstergirl wrote:I don't think I'd look so good in a mustachio, but those sure look like some fun parties!

That's okay, monstergirl. Girlies like us can sport 'staches in support of our harrier counterparts!

Mustache Power Vinyl Wallet

Or just a simple tee shirt

Or my personal favorite, the mustache necklace

Jaeger · Post by **Jaeger** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 6:31 am

rhinoviper wrote:
monstergirl wrote:I don't think I'd look so good in a mustachio, but those sure look like some fun parties!
That's okay, monstergirl. Girlies like us can sport 'staches in support of our harrier counterparts!

Can't y'all just stick with penis envy and be done with it? Sheesh.

Lemme tell ya, I've met enough women who DID have moustaches and they were none too happy about it.

--Jaeger

ghost · Post by **ghost** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 6:43 am

Jaeger wrote:
rhinoviper wrote:
monstergirl wrote:I don't think I'd look so good in a mustachio, but those sure look like some fun parties!
That's okay, monstergirl. Girlies like us can sport 'staches in support of our harrier counterparts!

Can't y'all just stick with penis envy and be done with it? Sheesh.

Lemme tell ya, I've met enough women who DID have moustaches and they were none too happy about it.

--Jaeger

You, sir, have just stumbled upon the joke I learned to not make when throwing this party about... oh... five years ago. Seems that it's only flattering to complement a man's mustache.

As to the ladies, I do know a few who plan to rock mustache lorgnettes this year, which I thought was a clever alternative to the stick-on kind.

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 7:32 am

My 15 year-old son and my 45 year-old wife joke about when his 'stache will catch hers. I have not placed bets, due to wanting to live.

ghost · Post by **ghost** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 7:49 am

RevCBL wrote:This seems like an appropriate place to post pictures of the mustache ride from a mustache party here in Baltimore a couple of years ago. I believe our own Mad Anne Bonney had a hand in this:
In progress:

In use:

That looks amazing. Much classier than our get-togethers.

(I'm now wondering whether I could steal it from Baltimore. Maybe strap it to the rack on the back of the Scrambler...?)

GOSTAZ · Post by **GOSTAZ** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 8:01 am

Metalredneck wrote:Hey, I wouldn't print it if it wasn't true. They have slowed in the last few days, I think it was stress.

As for Northern Cell retribution; I await the wrath of the Frozen. With my Aussie conitioned Van Dyke. (Pics should be next week.)

On the up-side, Mama 'Neck still finds the tickler functional and has been lberally applying facial conditioner for me. (group cringe)

Redneck tranfibalation for all you "other" folks....

Mr Redneck closes his update with good news. Mr. Redneck's significant other (in the preceding, referred to as Mama((a colloquialism of great tradition in redneck language patterns)))has, in this case, given her hearty approval to his facial hair modification project by allowing Mr. Redneck to practice his cunning linguist skills with her. This is an age old remedy for a dry beard, and if the parties are so inclined, can be a quite pleasurable pastime...

This is good news and in no way incestuous... now back to the 'stache growin'...

PS... MR, I owe you some stickerage... and thanks for the HABU!

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:54 am

Most welcome. And what is HABU?

Zer0 · Post by **Zer0** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:59 am

Metalredneck wrote:My 15 year-old son and my 45 year-old wife joke about when his 'stache will catch hers. I have not placed bets, due to wanting to live.

GOSTAZ wrote:Mr. Redneck's significant other (in the preceding, referred to as Mama((a colloquialism of great tradition in redneck language patterns

I was there all along. That's exactly what I call my own Mrs. Unlucky, which leads me to my main point:

Me: "Hey Mama, orders just came down from High Kommand that all Terrorists gotta grow mustaches and the girlies gottta shave downstairs." (Hear thgat, Static---yer High Kommand)

Mama gives me the look moms give to their 13 year-old sons, or the look whenever I say 'Hey, watch this.'

6 yr old son: "Terrorists rule."

Me: "Say it proud and lloud, son."

6 yr. oold: "TERRORITST RUUUUULE!!! Why does mommy have to shave downstairs?"

Me: "UTMC's mobilizing on May 5th, gotta be ready, something big's going down, better practice your Kung Fu."

Mama "I'm not shaving and you're not growing anything."

Me: "Too late--done started--force to be reckoned with."

Mama: "You're not gonna look like a homeless again."

Me: "No one tells the UTMC what to do, woman, now go fix me a sandwich."

Mama: You're not . . ."

Me: "And a beer."

Mama: You're not . . ."

Me: "Sandwich and a beer. The mustache is hungry--gotta feed the growing boy. Sandwich and a beer, Mama. Chop chop (she's Chinese--gotta say that)"

Mama: "You're not the one who has to get poked by your beard."

Me: "I'm a North American mammal flush with Baltic German blood--you won't complain when someone busts in and tries to touch you or the boys then I go all Beowulf on their asses, serious Teutonic pain levied-- all for defense of my kith and kin. so stop whining. Sandwich and a beer."

4 year old: "BEOWUFF!!!"

Mama: "You're a retard. I'm Chinese, we don't like hairy men."

Me: "Hell mama, you ain't stopped lovin me since the first time you saw me."

Mama: "How many Terrorists gots Asian wives that let them grow beards and don' complain?"

Me: "I wish I was one of them."

So that's my question: How many of you Terrorists gots Asian wives or squeezes that let them grow beards and don' complain?"

BTW, Mama never got me the sandwich and a beer

Jaeger · Post by **Jaeger** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 10:36 am

Zer0 wrote: So that's my question: How many of you Terrorists gots Asian wives or squeezes that let them grow beards and don' complain?"

I gots me a JAP, which frankly, I think should count. And yes, I get grief about the scruff... HOWEVER, she says that 1) the longer the beard gets the softer it is, and 2) I've actually gone "proper" goatee, sans 'stache, and she says that's just fine (actually, she's really diggin' it).

BTW, Mama never got me the sandwich and a beer

Heh, you're lucky she didn't go kung fu on your pasty Euro ass, bub.

--Jaeger

GOSTAZ · Post by **GOSTAZ** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 10:53 am

Metalredneck wrote:Most welcome. And what is HABU?

HABU is ghettofabulous for "Hook a Brotha Up". Rock on, playa! We gotta engineer a way to party with you guys sometime. I have a feeling it might be a stupid good time. And I am all about the stupid good time.
Zero, why don't you get on that rig in May, swing up North, grab MR, and ball clear across the country. We'd be hapy to buy you a beer or two. Beats sitting around the house waitin' on a fuckin' nonexistent sammich....

Pennsyltucky is beeeeeyouteeful in May.

ghost · Post by **ghost** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 1:02 pm

Zer0 wrote:
GOSTAZ wrote:Mr. Redneck's significant other (in the preceding, referred to as Mama((a colloquialism of great tradition in redneck language patterns
I was there all along. That's exactly what I call my own Mrs. Unlucky, which leads me to my main point:

...

Me: "Hey Mama, orders just came down from High Kommand that all Terrorists gotta grow mustaches and the girlies gottta shave downstairs." (Hear thgat, Static---yer High Kommand)

...

So that's my question: How many of you Terrorists gots Asian wives or squeezes that let them grow beards and don' complain?"

In order...

Well, yeah, obviously. It provided an opportunity to make a "MR is giving his mom head" joke though, and I am never one to pass up such opportunities.

Can that please, please go below my name, so I can show all my friends how cool I am?

Finally, to throw in my practically unrelated answer to the question, the new girl (who's not in any way, shape, or form Asian) actually likes the mustache. She says I should get rid of the cover beard and just rock the 'stache solo.

I... I'm just so happy...

RevCBL, if you're offering to see whether The Mustache Ride is available, you are my new hero, as I'm sure I can find a way to transport it from Baltimore to Richmond and back that's less hazardous to its continued existence than a ride on the back of my bike.

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 1:27 pm

If by Asian wife, you mean Irish, & Scottish babe from the Greater Toronto Area, er, YEAH! And she's dealing with the facial hair. It's long enough & soft enough (thanks to conditioner!!) to be beyond the "thousand labia-poking quills" stage, to quote Mrs. 'Neck. I always had a beard 15 years ago, but I can just walk into any bar now, so this is the first attempt in a while.

I am enjoying the extra insulation and the distilled breath-sicles for water storage.

YES we need to get together and injure our livers. I'm working out some logistics & brownie points this weekend. If Mr. Financial Crisis cooperates, we'll all be making reservations for dialysis.

Jaeger · Post by **Jaeger** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 1:44 pm

reflectedstatic wrote:
Can that please, please go below my name, so I can show all my friends how cool I am?

So what, you want to be Moustache Rider Extraordinaire?

--Jaeger

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 4:59 pm

Here's the progress so far...
<a href="" title="IMG_0038 by redneckfri13, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3432/329 ... 3f62cb.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="IMG_0038" /></a>
And here's some facial (and pubic) hair related entertainment.
http://www2.b3ta.com/namethatbeard/ Name that beard. No surprise.
http://www2.b3ta.com/gash-or-tash/ Gash or 'tache? You decide.

ghost · Post by **ghost** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 5:13 pm

Jaeger wrote:
reflectedstatic wrote:
Can that please, please go below my name, so I can show all my friends how cool I am?

So what, you want to be Moustache Rider Extraordinaire?

--Jaeger

I was referring to "High Kommand", but that works too. Really, anything mustache related would be appropriate at the moment.

Jaeger · Post by **Jaeger** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 10:16 pm

reflectedstatic wrote:
Jaeger wrote: So what, you want to be Moustache Rider Extraordinaire?

--Jaeger
I was referring to "High Kommand", but that works too. Really, anything mustache related would be appropriate at the moment.

Teh Interwebz gods are smiling upon you, young padwan.

--Jaeger

Zer0 · Post by **Zer0** » Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:06 am

Metalredneck wrote:http://www2.b3ta.com/namethatbeard/

That Rasputin graphic is excellent! But that Phil Collins thing brought down my day. No need for him ever to apperar in my life again.

ghost · Post by **ghost** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:42 pm

Could it be time for...? HUGE BUMP!

Happy Cinco de Mustache!

(fifteen minutes early, technically, but hey... I like to be on top of things)

Party's still on for Saturday, which is "Cinco de Mustache (Observed)". Pictures will certainly end up here sometime afterward.

My lip sweater started going solo last weekend, in anticipation of a monster truck rally that sold out before I got there. It has served me well this week, though, and I began to question my decision to not shave the chin beard sooner. It's not the most glorious mustache ever, by any stretch, but it is a mustache. Despite the cold, I've taken to wearing cutoff t-shirts and girlie tees, which make it that much more awesome.

The only remaining issue is whether to turn that mop on top of my head into a proper mullet. I kind of like my hair as-is, or at least I like it when it's not slicked back and frizzed-up like that, but the new girlfriend has voiced her opposition to any haircuts whatsoever and especially to mullets, so I'm naturally inclined to get one. Stay tuned...

Priest · Post by **Priest** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:09 pm

Your image invokes Extra Ron Jeremy. You should be proud.

stiles · Post by **stiles** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 9:31 pm

Dude. Awesome.

Six friends of mine all grew mustaches, got 1970's suits from the thrift store along with matching aviator glasses, then put on (empty) shoulder holsters under the jackets and went to Vegas for the weekend, en masse. They never took off the sunglasses, BTW.

Picture the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video, but in the casinos.

It was fuckin' hilarious.

Metalredneck · Post by **Metalredneck** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:13 am

Sadly, my facial hair fell victim to THE MAN. I was called up out of the blue by a place that I had applied at over a year ago, and have had two interviews. I should know on Wed. Mar. 11 if I get it, but it sounds positive. The hair can always grow back.

Priest · Post by **Priest** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:43 am

Metalredneck wrote:Sadly, my facial hair fell victim to THE MAN. I was called up out of the blue by a place that I had applied at over a year ago, and have had two interviews. I should know on Wed. Mar. 11 if I get it, but it sounds positive. The hair can always grow back.

Some Terrorist said it here somewhere: Ain't no mustache worth $XX thousand dollars. Maybe you?

Zer0 · Post by **Zer0** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:01 pm

Wait. Cinco de Mustache is March 5th? March? Out here, it's always May 5th, as in a twist on Cinco de Mayo.

March 5th? That's weak.

You people.

EVERYONE who's in on this has to keep that lip fur going till May 5th, you punkasses. MAY 5th.

Jaeger · Post by **Jaeger** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:07 pm

TV200 wrote:I did that a couple years ago, And it was the May one, where you had 6 weeks before to be cleanshaven, and whoever did the best in the 6 weeks won.So you had to live with it for 6 weeks beforehand, and trimming a beard into it was a no-no.ummm, yeah, and it was Jaeger's first time meeting me face to face, which led to him calling me a freak.

I said no such thing -- in fact, I was envious of your 'stache. I was, in fact, more impressed with the 4" green mohawk.

The fact that you were flogging that scooter at 80mph up U.S. 29. -- and that you're actually bigger than I am -- THAT made me say you were out of your fucking mind.

(sorry, should've replied to this earlier. ;P )

--Jaeger

SidVicious · Post by **SidVicious** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:59 pm

hooray! the day has finally arrived. prepare for hilarity as i show off my feeble attempt at manliness.

that's been growing since about thanksgiving, i think? the hair on top i just shaved last week.

for me with hair, here's a picture taken at the widget factory for three years perfect attendance. back row, 2nd from right wearing camo pants.

ImEazy · Post by **ImEazy** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 7:49 pm

This was taken a short while ago. I have given up on anyting other
than the stache as it just plain looks like shit...

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Mustache Party - UPDATE - Happy Cinco de Mustache!