America is facing a crisis. I'm not talking about health care, unemployment or even the packs of kangaroos swarming the Midwest and raping everyone in sight. I'm talking about our catchphrase shortage. This nation was built on the strength of our catchphrases. Without "Give me liberty or give me death!" and "The British are coming!" we might as well be Canada or the Bermuda Triangle. That is why it is so important we maintain this heritage of catchphrases.
I was hopeful when Borat had every douche on the planet saying "Very nice!", but it's been three years and that well is dry. So I'm offering new catchphrases. I don't expect to return us to our heyday when "Dy-no-mite"s and "Where's the beef?"s were falling from trees like golden apples, but hopefully with this list and a little effort on your part we can get the ball rolling in the right direction.
(Don't worry, I'm not going to half-ass it and just slap together a bunch of random words and nonsensical phrases. I'm going to 51%-ass it and include when and how to use these phrases.)
That's bullshit, Marty! - To be shouted in church every time the pastor pauses.
And rub your junk on it. - State plainly after you've given a waitress your order.
Only one of us is getting out of here without poop in their hair. - Whisper on crowded elevator.
This one's for Jesus! - To be shouted at the exact moment of orgasm.
Skittles and foreskin - Like "Whatever," this is used to show indifference. Like if your wife says she's leaving you after 10 years of marriage... "Skittles and foreskin, man. Skittles and foreskin."
Jangleplatz! - Replacement for "Awesome." Simply because I'm tired of every asshole with the mind of a 14-year-old using some form of "awesome" to describe anything because they're unaware of other adjectives. If people use this, that shit would be jangleplatz. (That sounds awesome.)
Murf da skwaaay! - Not sure, something rappers should say.
Take it all, Becky! - To be angrily yelled while using a public urinal.
I was promised ass-play! - To be shouted at any cashier or sales clerk who asks for payment.
To the reservoir! - Shout at any motorist with his or her window rolled down.
She like-a da turkey bacon. - For women only. To be whispered during gynecological exams.
There's mommy's little buck-buck. - Kneel down and say this when you see a midget.
The dialogue from an episode of Three's Company! - Shout at concerts in place of "Freebird!"
Let's teabag that fucker! - Shout halfway through the eulogy.
Kegels 'til you bleed! - Shout as loud as you can at any person on a cell phone.
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this will zero the unread anything for you, so you can strive forth into the exciting world of the new cookie thing.
Because the board got shutdown again because of a load of database, I had to fettle with the settings again.
As part of that, the server no longer stores what topics you have or haven't read.
IT IS STILL RECORDED!
But now, that information lives in a delicious cookie, rather than the forum database.
Upside: this should reduce the load of database.
Downside: if you use multiple devices to access the board, or you reject delicious cookies, you won't always have that information cookie. But the New Posts feature should take care of that.
PLEASE NOTIFY THE ADMINISTERRERRERR ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS!
2024 LOGIN/Posting ISSUES
Click if you have a problem.
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If you cannot Debauch because you get an IP blacklist error, try Debauching again time. It may work immediately, it may take a few attempts. It will work eventually, I don't think I had to click debauch more than three times. Someone is overzealous at our hosting company, but only on the first couple of attempts.
If you have problems logging in, posting, or doing anything else, please get in touch.
You know the email (if you don't, see in the registration info below), you know where to find the Administerrerrerr on the Midget Circus.
Some unpleasant miscreant was firing incessant database queries at our server, which forced the Legal Department of our hosting company, via their Abuse subdivision, to shut us down. No I have none.
All I can do it button the hatches, and tighten up a few things. Such as time limits on how long you may take to compose a post and hit Debauch! As of 24/01/10, I've set that at 30 minutes for now.
To restrict further overloads, any unregistered users had to be locked out.
How do we know who is or isn't an unregistered user?
By forcing anyone who wants in to Log In.
Is that annoying?
Yes. But there's only so much the Administerrerrerr can do to keep this place running.
Again, if you have any problems: get in touch.
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Tell him who you are, that you wish to join, and what you wish your username to be. The Administerrerrerr will get back to you. If you're human, and you're not a damn spammer, expect a reply within 24 hoursish. Usually quicker, rarely slower.
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Latest Crisis
-
Groove
- El Monstro De La Noche
- Location: Northern NY (The most North-ist part)
Latest Crisis
My Boss's friend Frank is a funny guy, he does standup on the weekends.
Last edited by Groove on Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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"My new spleen came from a guy who liked the motorcycle" - Philip J. Frye
09 KLR (Gonzo)
03 SV650 (Crouchy Von Spine-Mangler)
02 KTM 640 (The Homewrecker)
"My new spleen came from a guy who liked the motorcycle" - Philip J. Frye
09 KLR (Gonzo)
03 SV650 (Crouchy Von Spine-Mangler)
02 KTM 640 (The Homewrecker)
-
Ames
- Megachiroptera Übermench
- Location: Denver, CO in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
- Contact:
-
Photo
- Bacon Torpedo
- Location: Aurora, CO
That's bullshit, Marty! - To be shouted in church every time the pastor pauses.
And rub your junk on it. - State plainly after you've given a waitress your order.
Only one of us is getting out of here without poop in their hair. - Whisper on crowded elevator.
I really like these three! The last one sounds like something you'd hear Ray Romano say on a sitcom.
"Brought to you, by Carl's Jr."
-
Jaeger
- Baron von Scrapple
- Location: NoVA
- Contact:
-
Disastermined
- Maltov Rattlecan
- Location: Madison
- Contact: