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Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

A forum for the off topic stuff. Everything from religion to philosophy to sex to humor (see why it used to be called Buggery?). All manner of rude psychological abuse is welcome and encouraged.
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kitkat
Magnum Jihad
Location: pacNW

Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by kitkat » Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:55 pm

http://www.kob.com/article/stories/S320 ... niTPpRoTsk

Twice this, twice that, three times another and *then* they get serious... o_O


"The ultimate word is I LIKE." --Jack London

auribus teneo lupum

old FJ 1250; MZ Mastiff; Bandit 1200

calamari kid
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Lake Shitty

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by calamari kid » Tue Nov 05, 2013 6:31 pm

Holy shitsnacks!
"Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon." -Honda manual circa 1962

"Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba...." -Hunter S Thompson

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Hengry
Pin Puller
Location: Chicago

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by Hengry » Tue Nov 05, 2013 6:36 pm

Woah!

Toonce(s)
Asshat Spambot
Location: south of cheese

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by Toonce(s) » Tue Nov 05, 2013 9:11 pm

A pain in the ass, but, ... Cha-CHING!
It's a stack of fuck-shit on top of itself, Ninja.

User avatar
DerGolgo
Zaphod's Zeitgeist
Location: Potato

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by DerGolgo » Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:06 pm

Twice x-rays.
What did the docs think they'd see on the second x-ray that, somehow, managed to remain invisible on the first x-ray?
What did the docs think they'd find with the second fisting that they didn't with the first?
What did they expect he'd crap out with the third enema that he didn't with the first two?
And then they shoved a camera up his bum?

Seriously, WTF? How desperate for billable services is a doctor who, after the third enema, still can't say "No, I don't think we're gonna find anything. Go away now!"? Cha-Ching indeed. That's basically butt-rape in front of spectators what they did.
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?

I said I have a big stick.

User avatar
xtian
Le coureur de lames chasse Tinti...
Location: belgium
Contact:

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by xtian » Wed Nov 06, 2013 5:12 am

"you're sure you come here for shopping?"
I'm not really from around here.

12ci
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Rive Gauche Anacostia

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by 12ci » Wed Nov 06, 2013 6:43 pm

on the other hand, i bet he never blows thru a stop sign again. ever.

damn scofflaw....
today you decide what tomorrow will bring

12ci
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Rive Gauche Anacostia

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by 12ci » Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:10 pm

another twist:
RT wrote:The hospital even billed Eckert for the procedures and is threatening to take him to collections if he doesn’t pay.
otherwise, nothing we didn't already know...
http://rt.com/usa/hospital-bills-eckert-search-270/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
today you decide what tomorrow will bring

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guitargeek
Master Metric Necromancer
Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by guitargeek » Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:51 pm

My granduncle Charlie was a prospector, had a couple silver claims in New Mexico, built a little house in Deming.
He left the house to my mom, she had some stuff stored there and I had to drive down from Espanola to get it. The locals kept telling me, "Don't get pulled over! Watch your speed!"

Now I know why... :shock:
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken

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guitargeek
Master Metric Necromancer
Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by guitargeek » Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:56 pm

Also, there is a doctor named Okay Odocha, M.D.

Somehow, this makes me happy.
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken

User avatar
guitargeek
Master Metric Necromancer
Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by guitargeek » Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:16 pm

BAD DOG! BAD!

http://aattp.org/another-horrific-case- ... ent-video/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken

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GOSTAZ
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Straight outta Rockville, yo.

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by GOSTAZ » Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:01 pm

I am very glad to be a fat middle-aged guy. I can clench my buttocks all day long and the coppers will never notice. Sounds like the doc and the dicks need to have a cranial exam as it appears they are hiding contraband in their asshats...
Primitive and Useless

Aliquando et insanire iucundum est.

12ci
Ayatollah of Mayhem
Location: Rive Gauche Anacostia

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by 12ci » Thu Nov 07, 2013 5:56 pm

K-9 named Leo
best dog name ever
today you decide what tomorrow will bring

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MATPOC
The Unreasonable Ukranian
Location: Providence, RI

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by MATPOC » Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:38 pm

apparently best dog ever

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guitargeek
Master Metric Necromancer
Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by guitargeek » Mon Nov 11, 2013 6:18 pm

MATPOC wrote:apparently best dog ever
Really? That's what you take away from this story?

I'd call that dog Shit Head.
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken

Mk3
Captain Sensible, Space Command.
Location: The people's republic of Illinois Welcome comrade, join the party!

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by Mk3 » Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:14 am

Wait, back up, a dog is the catalyst....The animal INFAMOUS FOR SNIFFING YOUR ASS! Dudes are getting medical fetishist butt raped because a dog likes to sniff asses. I guess they're just lucky he didn't sniff the front. If the dog sniffs a woman does the OBGYN get involved?
"...when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES "!

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Rench
the Harm in Harmony
Location: Chicago
Contact:

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by Rench » Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:24 pm

This reads like something out of an alien abduction horror movie. I'd love to crack a few jokes, but something about it is deeply offensive as an American and even just a human.

To riff a little though, do you think they would have gone as far or as low under the radar if the suspect/victim was a female? I mean, you're a very narrow and rapidly disappearing line from institutional rape here in either sex.

-Rench
"I'm not a schemer..."

"Do you know why it's illegal to put gasoline in a glass container?" - Piccinni

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MATPOC
The Unreasonable Ukranian
Location: Providence, RI

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by MATPOC » Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:16 pm

this story is deeply disturbing considering number of violations of simple human rights and the fact that all the anal probing happened outside the time frame specified by the warrant and outside jurisdiction, not to mention procedures themselves, repeated cavity search after a negative x-ray followed up by more invasive surgical procedures? I'm surprised we didn;t hear about after someone subjected to this simply didn't lite up the hospital, it's doctors or the arresting officers with some machine gun fire, cause you know this reminds me about the scene from Pulp fiction...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVRPz6-Tkww" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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red
Yap. Doomed for all eternity.
Location: Indy
Contact:

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by red » Tue Nov 19, 2013 8:00 am

MATPOC wrote: all the anal probing

My god, it's all so clear now. The Grey aliens have taken over out govt and law enforcement to expand their space tourist probing empire.

Jokes aside, how did this not become a larger news story? You can basically be anally raped repeatedly by a licensed physician because a "trained" police dog has cued that you have contraband in your corn hole? I've heard from LEO friends that most of these dogs are taught a subtle hand signal that will make them react as if they have found drugs/guns/explosives.
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guitargeek
Master Metric Necromancer
Location: East Goatfuck, Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by guitargeek » Tue Nov 19, 2013 9:34 am

red wrote:
MATPOC wrote: all the anal probing
My god, it's all so clear now. The Grey aliens have taken over out govt and law enforcement to expand their space tourist probing empire.
You know, Deming's only a couple hundred miles from Roswell...
Elitist, arrogant, intolerant, self-absorbed.
Midliferider wrote:Wish I could wipe this shit off my shoes but it's everywhere I walk. Dang.
Pattio wrote:Never forget, as you enjoy the high road of tolerance, that it is those of us doing the hard work of intolerance who make it possible for you to shine.
xtian wrote:Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken

User avatar
MATPOC
The Unreasonable Ukranian
Location: Providence, RI

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by MATPOC » Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:29 am

red wrote: I've heard from LEO friends that most of these dogs are taught a subtle hand signal that will make them react as if they have found drugs/guns/explosives.
Yep, I was told same thing, which means the Dog becomes a Joker: need a warrant? call K-9, they will get you a warrant... sad thing is that K-9 is a great tool but it's also a back door which allows for abuse of power.

Toonce(s)
Asshat Spambot
Location: south of cheese

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by Toonce(s) » Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Dude got a paycheck...


http://www.examiner.com/article/driver- ... settlement" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
It's a stack of fuck-shit on top of itself, Ninja.

User avatar
DerGolgo
Zaphod's Zeitgeist
Location: Potato

Re: Best be careful where you clench your buttocks...

Post by DerGolgo » Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:33 pm

No, that's not a paycheck. That's the pension check. Not a pension check, but the pension check. Just the one that covers it all. :shock:
If there were absolutely anything to be afraid of, don't you think I would have worn pants?

I said I have a big stick.

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